A Successful Failure?

I have read and heard a lot about how people change once they achieve success in their lives. And the one thought that always came back was Why? Why couldn’t people go on working with the same grit and enthusiasm as before? Why did they have to become arrogant and over-confident? Wasn’t all the adulation and fame coming their way enough to keep their morale up? Can we really call it Success when it’s actually the first step towards a disaster?


I started blogging when I knew nothing about it and wrote just because I loved doing it. In the past one and a half years, a lot of people came back and said they enjoyed my writing. I couldn’t have been happier that what I thought was crap or something that was special only to me did ring a bell with other people too. I continued to do this till some time ago. Sorry if I sound like I am gloating, but believe me, right now that’s the last thing I am up to. My horizons expanded after I took up blogging – I have met some amazing like minded people, got opportunities to do things that I hadn’t ever done before like book reviews, product reviews, going to blogger meets, participating in online contests and actually winning stuff – you know…lots of new things in a short span of time. It kind of became a vicious circle. People liking my work and myself getting opportunities for new stuff, in turn making newer people to contact me for their pleasantries and acknowledgement. I wouldn’t say I am not happy with this arrangement. In fact it has instilled a lot of confidence in me to go ahead and follow my dream of being a writer and the best one at that! But you know, success, however small, does go to your head.

I have taken up so much work that a procrastinator like me can ever hope to finish. And that’s because I thought I could do everything. Not that I doubt my capabilities, but I did kind of overestimate myself. I also started writing less on the blog, concentrating more on the other opportunities I was getting. I would be too judgmental if I said I was lured by money, but it was just the beginning of what could be something in that direction. But today I was thinking about the umpteen number of things that I have experienced in these past few weeks and that I never wrote on the blog about. Because I never got the time. Or I was too busy pursuing other opportunities. And it was then that I realized why only a few people in this world can keep a sane head and not let their success go to their head or affect their work negatively. Sometimes I really wish I blogged anonymously :-

 I never thought I would ever sideline my love for blogging for anything. But apparently I did. And I feel worse for it. And then it dawned on me that people who do behave weird after getting famous don’t really ask for it. Maybe the change comes over so gradually they don’t even notice. And by the time they do, it’s really late. So may be all that’s required to be successful in life, apart from a little talent and sincerity, is the ability to realize when the change starts coming over and preparing yourself to not let it affect you. And now that I have decided to return to my first love with a vengeance, be ready to be mesmerized all over again! πŸ™‚ And some days later, if you do find an anonymous blogger who sounds like me, humor me ;-))

*Picture courtesy Google

Does success come to the screwed ?

As I watch episode after episode and possibly every re-run of the famous TV series Sex and the City, I have to admit that it’s the most intelligent TV show that I have come across. Every episode is so well crafted out in terms of a story, a buildup and a climax! And much as I like to fancy myself as the next Carrie Bradshaw (:-P), it’s a wish minus the frills. Because as much as I admire Carrie’s wit, sense of humor, writing and way of thinking, I still have an issue with her being in and out of relationships at the drop of a hat and having a rebound relationship with Mr. Big  more than once. Now the former may be due to a culture difference, but what about love? What was it that made her screw every relationship, even though she was an expert “on paper” per say?

Carrie with Mr. Big

I begin to think about some other legends and their love/success stories. Everybody knows late Mr. M.F.Hussain’s fixation for our talented young actresses, and who even went to on to produce an arty ‘Gajgamini’ with his then muse Madhuri Dixit. The likes of music maestro Pandit Ravi Shankar, yesteryears’ actress Smita Patil, and TV actress Nina Gupta have a love child each. And when Ranbir Kapoor is advised in Rockstar with a “Jab tak tera dil nahi tootega, usmein dard nahi aayega, tab tak tu sacha artist nahi banega” (You will never become a true artist until you don’t experience a heart break or the pain of failing in love), my wayward thoughts were cast in stone. But is this really true that success comes to the screwed?

I mean, Carrie was screwed in her mind, Mr. M.F.Hussian in his heart and a lot of others in love. We often look down upon the shell life of relationships in Bollywood, and where people keep moving on from one relationship to the other as non-chalantly as we do from one mall to the other on a rather dull day. And it’s not the just the entertainment industry. Look at the famous author Salman Rushdie…he writes way too intellectual stuff, and at the same time, keeps marrying these oh-so-hot ladies half his age. Is that what keeps him going? Or is it an outcome of his rather dull life, surrounded by books, paper and pen for company?

Salman Rushdie with ex-wife padma Lakshmi (Ain’t she hot?) πŸ˜‰

 I can’t seem to figure out a pattern here, except that all these people, having an obscenely huge artistic factor in them, are belittled in their persona elsewhere. Wouldn’t they all have been perfect had God bestowed these oh-so-creative people with a sane mind that followed the ways of the world they inhabited? But perfection is just God’s business. I think even He is insecure at some level. If He made a human perfect enough, wouldn’t the spotlight shift? I think even He’s screwed enough to bless us with imperfection so that we always look up to Him and Only Him. πŸ˜‰

I still didn’t want to believe in the theory, and decided to delve in my own self. I read some of my old articles which I had written when I was going through a very tough phase in my life. None of the current stuff even nears the level. So, even for me, I could say that pain bought out the best art of my life. But does that mean if I am happy, I will never be able to publish my best work? Will that happen only if I screw something irreversably in my life, and then only I will be able to churn out some sweet/sour musings of my life and poetically imprint it on paper?

Pray why that is, I still don’t know.
If any one of you has an answer, please enlighten me.

Yours truly,
Happy πŸ˜€ and Doomed πŸ™