We love to chat! Why not WeChat?

We Indians love our chats and chaats with equal fervor. We like our gossips to be as spicy and tangy as the golgappe waala’s teekhe waala paani. So what if your motto in life is just “live and let live”? The neighbor waali Mrs. Sharma doesn’t think so. To check what time you reach home at night, what clothes you wear and how many guy friends you have is all her prerogative too. After all, who’s going to take care of the declining ethos of the society, eh?

And so, when I was given the opportunity to be able to connect with any 5 people of my choice, I decided to run a few ticks in my check list. After all, I would be talking/chatting/video calling some of my real favorite people in the world. I decide to send WeChat invites to my favorite 5 people and this is the bhelpuri of a conversation that we had (recreated as honestly as possible ;-))

(Phone beeps)
Apparently THE ShahRukh Khan has accepted my invite and sends me a hello…

SRK: Hello there, young lady!
Moi: H..h..h…h..h hello Sir. It’s such an honour to be chatting with you.
SRK: ha ha ha. Call me SRK. Naam to suna hi hoga

(And I imagine my first true love going all SRKish, opening his arms just for me )

Mrs. Sharma: Hello Sir, I also feel the honour ji. Thank you beta for inviting me into this conversation too.

Moi: No trouble Aunty. (we need someone for entertainment,no?)

SRK: Ghata, you have such a beautiful name. Bollywood has romanticized your name so much. Never thought I would meet someone with the name.

Moi : (blushing) Thanks SRK. I can’t believe you are flirting with me 😉

Mrs. Sharma : (obviously not liking the lack of attention on her): SRK, I heard you are planning another baby. What’s with you and Aamir and Sanju wanting to be dads at 50?

SRK: ha ha ha…pyaar, shaadi aur bacche karne ki koi umar nahi hoti…lekin ye tum kya jaano Mrs. Sharma….ha ha ha!!

(Moi silently enjoying the saucy convo)

phone beeps
(The famous Margaret Mitchell has accepted my invitation too)

MM: Hello there, lady!
Moi: Hello Ma’m. I can’t believe what I am chatting with you right now. I never thought this was possible.
MM : Thank you Ghata!
Mrs. Sharma: But beta, tell me, who is this firangi girl you are talking to?
Moi: Aunty, she’s the author of a bestselling author “Gone with the Wind”. It’s my favorite book. When I first read it, I wanted to kiss the hands and the mind that created it.
MM : Thank you dear. You are very kind.
Mrs. Sharma (obviously not very impressed) : ok, your english books vooks. What do I know? She wrote a tragic love story?
Moi: No aunty, she wrote about how a girl discovered what true love actually meant in between wars and adversities.
Mrs. Sharma : (unimpressed) Ok Ok! Whatever that means..
SRK: MM, Loved your book. By the way, I am SRK. Naam to suna hi hoga….ha ha ha…
MM : Thank you Sir. Pray forgive me for I have never heard of you.
SRK : !!!
Moi : 😛

phone beeps

(Sarah jessica parker has accepted my invitation too)
I let out a whoop of joy!

Moi : Hi Sarah! So excited to be talking to you.
SJP : Thanks honey.
Mrs. Sharma : now who is she? Why couldn’t you invite Anandi from Balika vadhu? Always talking to these foreign girls!!
Moi : Aunty, she is a famous Hollywood actress. She played Carrie Bradshaw in the famous TV series Sex and the City.
mrs. Sharma: What? Sex and what? Your generation and all this talk about s** before marriage and all?

Aunty  goes off on another tangent and talks about our unmoral-ness while …

Moi: So, Sarah, how does it feel to be still remembered as Carrie? Was it difficult playing the part?
SJP: It feels great to be still known as Carrie. People loved the show. Playing the part wasn’t so difficult because it is a little like all the New York girls drifting in and out of relationships.
Moi: But what about being in an affair with Mr. Big knowing that he was married?
SJP: Well, that was Carrie Bradshaw for you and not Sarah. 🙂

Aunty is still mumbling about sex and extra marital affairs…

Moi: You sensationalized the stilettos and high street fashion.
SJP: Thanks a lot girl. I loved being on the show as much as you loved watching it.

phone beeps and Mr. Arvind Kejriwal is on the chat

Moi: hello Sir, an honour to be talking to you.
Mrs. Sharma : Hello Arvind ji. Only you can save the country now. You are doing a great job.
AK: Thank you ladies. But the aam aadmi party needs your support both morally and financially to succeed.
Moi: Absolutely Sir. We will support as much as we can. I am a huge fan. The way you left your high profile cushioned job for the sake of the country is really exemplary.
AK: Thank you. It’s just something I had to do.
Moi: But I am sure it was not easy. Family pressures must have held you back.
AK: Let’s not go there. What’s important is that the youth wants a change and we are trying to bring it. We just need your support.
Mrs. Sharma: Arvind ji, please lead us. We will follow you. Perhaps, after this chat, you could come over to our area to check our heightening electricity bills.
Moi: !!!!!!!

And finally, Sir Ravindra Jadeja decides to accept my invite and join the conversation

Moi: Sir Jadeja, what a performance you have been giving in the Champions Trophy.
SRK: O look, sir Ravindra Jadeja! sir, bahut naam suna hai aapka….its lovely meeting you.
MM: So, you are the Sir Ravindra Jadeja everyone’s been talking about? You must be doing something right! Congratulations..
SJP: O yeah, I heard a lot about you from the Indian media, facebook and twitter. Going great guns dude. Keep it up!
AK : Sir, saare politicians aapki tarah perform karne lage, to everyone can live in peace
Mrs. Sharma: He must be a cricketer. Everyone seems to know him? Was he also involved in match fixing?
Moi: No aunty. But yes, he is a cricketer and is in great form. So Sir RJ, how does it feel to be appreciated by legends all over the world?
Sir RJ : (blushing) well, you know…its nice. I like it. But I just try to play my game. Bowl straight. field well.. Rest all follows.
Moi: I am sure Sir RJ. But don’t you feel offended people make jokes on you?

Sir RJ:I try to keep away from them.People do what they are good at. I try do my act well.

Moi: Looking forward to a great performance from you in the upcoming matches as well.

Sir RJ : I will try my best … (honest smile) 🙂

Mrs. Sharma and I had such an awesome time talking to these great personalities!!All thanks to WeChat for launching this awesome application especially in our country where gossips spread faster than wildfires. If you want to know more about this app(downloadable on your phone), you can read my review here. And if you had fun reading about this saucy, tangy and spicy conversation, you should give WeChat a try too!

This post has been written for the WeChat with Anyone, Anywhere! on Indiblogger

Does success come to the screwed ?

As I watch episode after episode and possibly every re-run of the famous TV series Sex and the City, I have to admit that it’s the most intelligent TV show that I have come across. Every episode is so well crafted out in terms of a story, a buildup and a climax! And much as I like to fancy myself as the next Carrie Bradshaw (:-P), it’s a wish minus the frills. Because as much as I admire Carrie’s wit, sense of humor, writing and way of thinking, I still have an issue with her being in and out of relationships at the drop of a hat and having a rebound relationship with Mr. Big  more than once. Now the former may be due to a culture difference, but what about love? What was it that made her screw every relationship, even though she was an expert “on paper” per say?

Carrie with Mr. Big

I begin to think about some other legends and their love/success stories. Everybody knows late Mr. M.F.Hussain’s fixation for our talented young actresses, and who even went to on to produce an arty ‘Gajgamini’ with his then muse Madhuri Dixit. The likes of music maestro Pandit Ravi Shankar, yesteryears’ actress Smita Patil, and TV actress Nina Gupta have a love child each. And when Ranbir Kapoor is advised in Rockstar with a “Jab tak tera dil nahi tootega, usmein dard nahi aayega, tab tak tu sacha artist nahi banega” (You will never become a true artist until you don’t experience a heart break or the pain of failing in love), my wayward thoughts were cast in stone. But is this really true that success comes to the screwed?

I mean, Carrie was screwed in her mind, Mr. M.F.Hussian in his heart and a lot of others in love. We often look down upon the shell life of relationships in Bollywood, and where people keep moving on from one relationship to the other as non-chalantly as we do from one mall to the other on a rather dull day. And it’s not the just the entertainment industry. Look at the famous author Salman Rushdie…he writes way too intellectual stuff, and at the same time, keeps marrying these oh-so-hot ladies half his age. Is that what keeps him going? Or is it an outcome of his rather dull life, surrounded by books, paper and pen for company?

Salman Rushdie with ex-wife padma Lakshmi (Ain’t she hot?) 😉

 I can’t seem to figure out a pattern here, except that all these people, having an obscenely huge artistic factor in them, are belittled in their persona elsewhere. Wouldn’t they all have been perfect had God bestowed these oh-so-creative people with a sane mind that followed the ways of the world they inhabited? But perfection is just God’s business. I think even He is insecure at some level. If He made a human perfect enough, wouldn’t the spotlight shift? I think even He’s screwed enough to bless us with imperfection so that we always look up to Him and Only Him. 😉

I still didn’t want to believe in the theory, and decided to delve in my own self. I read some of my old articles which I had written when I was going through a very tough phase in my life. None of the current stuff even nears the level. So, even for me, I could say that pain bought out the best art of my life. But does that mean if I am happy, I will never be able to publish my best work? Will that happen only if I screw something irreversably in my life, and then only I will be able to churn out some sweet/sour musings of my life and poetically imprint it on paper?

Pray why that is, I still don’t know.
If any one of you has an answer, please enlighten me.

Yours truly,
Happy 😀 and Doomed 🙁