Separation anxiety of a different kind !

The husband has been away for a while now. It will take him another couple of months to be back. The little one is keeping me very busy and on some days, I do not even remember that he is not there. Some days we do manage to squeeze in to talk for a few minutes. On most days, thanks to the time difference, we just about manage to acknowledge that we are doing fine by messages that are replied to, hours later.

There was a time when I could not bear to be away from him, even for a couple of days. I would call him all the time or chat and invariably miss him when I got home. I also wrote about how strong I was while he was leaving the country here. Any other time would have had me crying and bawling and being depressed for entire days after he was gone. The other day I was just wondering about this. All sorts of thoughts crossed my mind. Had I changed after becoming a mother? Did my love for the child overpower my love for him?
Or was I just over imagining things because I was so busy at all the other times?

I got my answer when I was watching “Two States”. It’s one of two movies I have watched in the past 7 months (all thanks to the entry of the little one in our lives). I am known to be a book lover and I, almost, never (except a few times) like a movie adapted from a book. And this was a book I did not even rate too high. It was OK, average. But I liked the movie. I loved the way Alia’s character was portrayed. I loved all the cliched drama of the loud Punjabi family and not-so-convincing South Indian accents. I loved the songs. And I liked Arjun Kapoor the best. His face had such a lost puppy look to it that you would immediately want to run and hug him. He didn’t seem like a quintessential “hero”, but a very normal guy who has his  ambitions and apprehensions mixed up.

Another reason I also loved this movie could have been because H and I also faced a lot of opposition when we decided to get married. Somehow, I was transported back to those years when we were the boy and girl in love. When we just had to get married to each other or no one else. When there were lots of tears, emotions and melodrama. And suddenly, all those emotions which I thought I had lost came back to me. I had a lump in my throat. I wanted to cry, I wanted to meet him and say the I love you. I wanted to be with him right then.

And then the movie ended. The ear phones came off. And the little one woke up.

But there is this song “Chaandaniya” (from the movie) that I have been playing in a loop ever since. It’s my favorite song these days.

Disclaimer: If you are missing a loved one, hear the song at your own risk. It will make you all sad and mushy.

 

 

A comeback (of sorts) !

I have been away from this space for far too long this time. But, for a change, I didn’t miss it all that much. The horrors! But you guys have been kind enough to visit the blog every now and then and even make do with the older posts.

I haven’t really been in good health over the last couple of months and hence, the dry phase. For nothing do they say, “Health is Wealth”. My health was not good and I was in no mood to write. The earth was still revolving at the same speed, people were still being a****es around me and there was s**t flying all over. In short, everything was just the way it was, but it was I who was not comprehending it and the mind wasn’t processing it. Not making an opinion about it. Even if it did, I didn’t have words and thoughts tumbling out of my fingers and keyboard like the way it is. Always. Like right now. I often tell this to H and he doesn’t quite believe it. I don’t write write, if you know what I mean. I have to write because the haywire thoughts shooting across my brain at supersonic speeds have to be put on paper and let out. Otherwise they would just coagulate and I would start talking to myself. Weird?

It rained today and as always, I just had to write. It makes me so cheerful, so happy. And then the thoughts begin to flow again. The words begin to tumble again. I started missing this space. I knew I had to write  🙂

Leaving you with two of my older “rainy day” posts to enjoy!
When the rain was raining!
Weather greens and blues!

Expect me back sooner this time!

PS: While I was away and recovering, the dear blog was listed in the Directory of Best Indian Blogs. You can see the proud little icon on the right hand side bar. Yayy to that!

Of rainy days, sweet dreams and a phone call….

Since last Friday, I have clicked on the “New Post” button almost like 4-5 times, and written some gibberish that didn’t feel right. It’s not like how I write. I write when I am so full of an idea that my mind is way ahead of my fingers, which just about manage to capture the essence and put it on virtual paper here. But of late, there have been so many things on mind that I haven’t been able to write about anything particular. So many new things are happening that my emotions are colliding unto each other and I am feeling confused as ever. So here I am, ranting away at my fav place, with my fav people…
1) I had promised to help

N

with a research paper of  hers. It had seemed very interesting to me at first, but I kinda got bored of it pretty soon. But then, a commitment is a commitment. So I have it at the top of my mind. Don’t worry

N

, I am ON it. <Guilty>

2) I had decided to update the blog with a couple of long pending blog posts, that are still lying dormant in my Drafts. But I have been just too lazy to do anything. <Super-guilty>
3) I had promised myself that I was gonna take out some time to study. But nada, nada nada.<let down>

4) The reason for all of the above is that H and I spent the entire weekend at home, thanks to the heat. But the icing on the cake is that we spent a lot of quality time, chatting up and listening to our fav songs together. It finally rained on Sunday, and so we played scrabble after a really long time, sat in the balcony, soaking up the smell of wet soil, enjoying the cool breeze and indulged in a lot of leg pulling.

 

 
Then we went out for dinner and had an awesome time together. And hence, all that guilt feeling was swallowed up by the happy love feeling that I was deep into.<happy happy, super happy>
5) And then, I got to know about the

Dove Women’s Indiblogger Meet

. And needless to say, I am super excited.

I had a whale of a time at the

last Indiblogger meet

, and I am so looking forward to this one as well. Are you coming? Please let me know so that we can meet and have fun together!

6) The last but not the least! The Breaking news of the day!
I got a call from

KBC

today. After all the verifications and stuff, I was told that I had to answer 3 questions. And that if I was selected, I would be moved to the next round.

Now the first 2 questions were pretty easy. But sadly enough, He got me on the third one.

 

The “question” in question:
According to the Population survey 2011, what is the female population of India, in crores?

 No options.And I had to type the answer on the phone keypad! Hmmmph….

My answer was close, BUT !!It was just that. Close. Not correct! :-((
<Disappointed>
Those of you who can manage to answer this one without googling it up, YOU ROCK!
 Those of you who can’t, please pray for me that I get through! 😛
After all wouldn’t you all want to see your beloved blogger right up there on the Hot Seat? ;-))

Random Ramblings..!!!!!

The good news (or is it??) first. I got married last month. On Feb18,2011. The most beautiful day of my life.
Haven’t been able to blog furiously for the past few months as was obviously busy with my wedding preparations. Had decided that I was going to blog till the last day before the wedding so that a few months later, I would still be able to remember and feel the gamut of emotions that are at play during ‘those’ days. :-))

But alas, the plan didn’t work. And since the ‘Just Married’ phase is no less melodramatic, I have decided to  try and keep the blog updated with the moods and feelings ‘these’ days, that will make me feel good a few months down the line.

Wedding preparations are fun, tiresome, irritating at times but mostly flattering, making you feel special and on-top-of-the-world. Everywhere you go, the shopkeeper invariable asks, “Aapki shaadi h?”. And you blush and say “Yes”. And lo and behold….he will go berserk trying to convince you into buying the most expensive piece of shoe/dress/jewellery in his shop with his already-repeated-a-million-times remark – “Madam..shaadi to 1 baar hi hoti h…paise k baare mein mat sochiye”. Yeaahh sure you ****. Its my parents hard earned money and you think I am going to blow all that up just because you take me into a make-believe Wonderland. But the irony is…..you actually end up spending all the money..!!!!
Apart from all those busy shopping schedules, you day-dream the rest of your free day about your new life, new love and the other new things.. ;-))
Well….i enjoyed the phase to the hilt and the wedding too. It was fun being the centre of attention for once.
Still not a month into my married life and things are still as rosy. Hoping they remain that way..!!!!!
More on that later.
Until then take care guys….