Poll khul gyi or really?

I have done a poll after a really long time. Not because I didn’t have any bright ideas, but because the poll option in Blogger wasn’t working. And so, I broke up with it and hooked up with PollDaddy. And I really liked it because it has way more options than the Blogger one. Anyway, I digress.

So this time, the poll question was “Why do you think people get married?” And no prizes for guessing, I really found asking myself this question after writing this post. I mean, why take so much pains for manaoing your parents to agree to a love marriage or go adjusting and living with total strangers in an arranged? When all you could do with your time and money is sleep, watch movies, read, and shop and have fun! Why this pressure to get hitched and settle down? And yes, it really is settling down because you are down and out with all your energy zapped because of the zillion responsibilities that come with being married. I think that the debate should ideally be “Marriage v/s Single/Live-in”. But whatever. And so I decided to ask this question to you guys. And as always, was I surprised.

The results look something like this:

And at least I had thought our generation didn’t fell prey to this “don’t know and doing it because everybody else is” and got married for some reason, even though that reason may be dowry, sex, love, or societal acceptance. Our society isn’t really keen on live-in relationships even though half the world I know is doing it. Live-ins are quite the ‘settling up’ thing as you get to stay together with your partner with the all perks of marriage without having to take care of the baggage of relatives, attending parties/functions of both the sides or trying to impress the in-laws. It’s like living the best of both worlds. But I think our society is really sadist in a way that people got married to get what they wanted and they make sure that nobody else gets it easy! It’s like, making you realize the importance of your action by having to pay for it! How mean!

 

But having said that, that’s a long road ahead and nobody knows in today’s world who’s going to remain married for how long. People change partners as quick as jobs and clothes and there’s nothing that can keep them together if they don’t want to, not even a marriage certificate. And that again brings me to the question, why do we get married? With all that fanfare? The phenomenon that has given rise to the dowry system. And dowry deaths. I mean, if you really need to change partner, why invest so much money on dikhaawa and marriage and dowry. Live with whoever you want. Live as long as you want to and then move away, without ugly divorces. But I guess the social bondage that comes with a marriage gives people the much needed blanket of security.

Interestingly, an equal number of people voted for Love and sex. WOW! Love equals sex? hmm…believe our generation to be practical and blatant. And how! But at least we are honest about it. But guys, seriously, a free advice here. If all you want is the four letter word, take my word. Marriage is the last thing you want. 😉

There are hardly any takers for the other options. Our fast-food generation doesn’t seem to believe in the institution of marriage, and neither do they see it as an emotional retirement plan. At least I thought that if you could somehow resist the temptations of marriage, you could do well for yourself only up to a certain point. But at a certain age, you need to have someone who would love you enough to find beauty in your wrinkles or poetry in the way you wobble without your walking stick. 

And now the most interesting part of the poll. People had a chance to write in their views too if they didn’t agree with my options. The top 5 happen to be:

1) To bring more complexity in their lives 😛
Haha…completely agree. Bang on!

2) Because their parents won’t let it be any other way!
Hmm….quite true…isn’t it?

3) To alive the ancestory (family) given name
Really??? To have kids? Please go watch Vicky Donor my boy! 😛

4) Social pressure on a girl
Or even a guy for that matter. *Sad but true!

5) To live with the person you love for the rest of your lives
True my friend. But the irony of life but Love is the most expensive thing you can ever afford in your life – in terms of money, energy, relationships and emotions involved. Choose wisely 🙂

I don’t know about the guys, but the real reason I think girls get married is for a wedding dress. Don’t we girls just love to shop till we drop? And what better way to do it other than marriage? And get drowned in the endless world of buying sarees, suits, bangles, necklaces, bindis, purses, and what not! And the effing wedding dress. I mean, pray tell me, why otherwise would any sane person wish to end her own life with responsibilities of managing a household, of being the perfect wife, DIL, and various other relations that come with the package? I think we are a narcissist lot who enjoy all the attention that comes with being a bride. I think the marriage industry is also to be blamed for it to a great extent. They have kind of romanticized the whole thing so much that girls all over the world have unrealistic expectations from it. Marriage in a real world means something else altogether. And just for the clarification, I am not cynical about the whole marriage thing. I am just trying to paint a realistic picture here. I think most people get married for the whole romance thing. It feels so good to be doted on at by all and sundry, laden down with gifts, parties thrown in your honour everywhere. Its like, you become the centre of universe for a couple of days. But that’s that! Some days later, it is someone else’s chance and you look around the money wasted on decoration, jewellery, clothes and food and have no option but to sigh!

 

I say everybody should get married at least once! Nobody is a success at it but then, you can always become a philosopher… 😉

Poll khul gyi – II

So, it’s that time again. When I declare the findings of my poll and dissect it with my bare hands to come to a logical conclusion about what you guys really think about the question in question!
Your vote matters !
 
 I am as aghast about the findings of the recent two polls as I was last time (You can check it out

here

).

After the surprise last time, I was pretty sure I was not gonna be lucky with some interesting poll results the second time around too. But but….You guys never fail to surprise and entertain! A high five to all of you!
Now, whatever happened to my thinking that Marriage was all about emotions and emotional bonding and blah blah…and Infidelity was an extension of people’s lust outside their relationships? The tables have been turned, and yet again.
Of the two, the first poll question was: I think Marriage is (with the following options)
a) An eye opener
b) The license to make love
c) A namesake for societal approval
c) A match in heaven solemnized on Earth
d) A donkey life
e) I don’t believe in the concept of marriage
f) No Comments
And believe it or not, the maximum number of people marked option (b). And the next most voted answer was option (c). So that led me to think that maybe people don’t really care much about the institution of marriage. But ironically enough, the least number of people voted for option (e).
So that kind of makes me conclude that our generation still believes in the institution of marriage, very much, but doesn’t really think that the raging hormones be controlled and saved for the wedding night. In a nutshell, I believe our generation just doesn’t agree with the red tapism associated with the institution of marriage in our culture, where the groom and especially the bride, is expected to be chaste and a virgin until the D-day.
The second poll question was: According to you, which form of Infidelity is worse? (with the following options)
a) Physical
b) Emotional
c) A combination of both
d) Does a one-night stand count as Infidelity?
Hold your breath! And the maximum number of people voted for option (b) and the next most voted option was option (c). That kind of insinuates the fairly ‘free’ nature of our generation, physically. That they might think of forgiving a physically infidel partner than the one who has emotionally lost connect with them. Quite mature I would say! And it does make a lot of sense.
What’s the use of having to keep a tab on your partner 24×7, just to make sure that he is not having any ‘fun’ outside the relationship. The relationship should be strong enough to bring him/her back home, every night, and everyday of your life. And what’s the use of making love to a partner, who at the same time might be fantasizing about the ‘other one’?
I think you get the drift.
I am pretty amazed at the results. After the

first poll

, I thought that maybe the people are still pretty conventional in their thoughts. But no longer. One person was even bold enough to vote for option (d) ;-))

Just imagine !
But I think I can join the dots for all the three questions in retrospective. That our generation is fiercely protective and very serious about their relationships. And that they would leave no stone unturned to keep it alive and kicking ;-))
And yet, at the same time, they are willing to go all out and experiment with their own boundaries.
Hope you guys had as much fun participating and reading the poll results as I had in compiling and writing about them. Do let me know your thoughts on the same.
Arigato Gozaimasu for all your precious time guys and Sayonara until the next time!

Poll khul gyi…..!!!

Well…..If you are thinking I am gonna write about any celebrity’s or neta’s (in)famous (s)excapades, you can rest easy because I am not gonna bore you with any of that innane stuff. I’d rather talk about cooking (which I loathe, by the way).

So coming back to the point, this post is about a poll that I did sometime back. I had almost decided not to post the question that I did, and am I glad. The results just blew the cover off the lid. I was expecting to see some masaaledaar fried bhindi and what I got was boiled bottlegourd (Ugh!)

No seriously. What’s up people? Where has the sense of excitement and exploration gone? Or is it that I am the only sinner around?

For the benefit of the uninitiated readers, let me rewind a bit. The question was, “Do you reveal your relationship status if you are approached by another boy/girl?”
a) Yes, always. I want to make my stand clear to avoid future issues.
b) No, never. Its none of his/her business.
c) Depends on whether the girl/guy is cute
d) Don’t know. Have never been approached.

Now, I was expecting a majority of people to say option b because of the fairly bold attitude of our generation. And also considering the fact that the voting is anonymous. But the stats looked like this at the end of the week:
a) 70%
b) 6%
c) 10%
d) 10%

and I went “Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?”. You guys gotta be kidding me. Everyone is literally playing safe out there.

So I generally struck up a conversation with some friends as to why they chose option (a). And almost all the “good” gals and gays said that committed people should always declare their “Relationship Status  (RS a la Facebook) to avoid any unwanted “proposals” later. Ok. Point taken.

But wait. I would have definitely marked option (b) because I always do that. And I want to give out the reason for that too, lest you consider me a loose-foot characterless woman, or simply portray me as the antonym of Geet, who was a one-man woman. I am too, very much. But with a twist.

Every new guy that I meet wants to know my RS after the first few times. I guess because he is partially interested. Or he just wants to know, in case he later fell for the chocolate eyed beauty (thats me 😛 ), would I be availabe too. In any case, my lips are sealed. I have this habit of analyzing human behavior. And clearly, if I told him that I was committed, I would never get to see the person that he would otherwise be ;-)) Trust me you would want to see that….

And I beg your pardon guys if you find that wrong, but it’s all in a harmless way. After all, I am not hiding my RS and two timing H..isn’t it?? It’s so much more fun to be just what you are, and not be defined by your RS.

Another reason a friend gave for this: She said she revealed her RS to lovers with “proposals” because it was so much easier to get rid of them that way. How crude I say! The poor guy loved you with all his heart and you didn’t think twice before bringing the hammer down on him. The last thing a guy can accept is imagining his GF/would-be-GF/would-be-wife as another man’s arm candy. But well, that deserves another post.

I, for that matter, never do that. If I had to turn down a guy, I’d (and have) tell me why I didn’t like any better than Tusshar Kapoor. Why should I heap the burden of my disapproval of him on my relationship? I think that’s unfair to both the guys concerned. And seriously speaking, if I liked him any better than my current guy….I would atleast think about him. I mean, why not? ;-))

But the best part was that atleast some guys were truly honest. Like the 10% who said “Depending on whether the girl/guy is cute”, and another 10% who said “They have never been approached”. Awww…… Kudos for your honesty people. I wish Cupid strikes all you guys/girls soon, so that you can particiapte in my survey the next time around !!!

Adios Amigos until the next post 🙂