Thinking out loud..

Sometimes I come back to my blog after a break, a couple of weeks or a month, and I feel like, “Hey, do I know you?” It’s the exact same feeling when you are fighting with your husband who you have known for a decade now. True, right? 🙂

These days, I often go back and read my old posts and think about the time when I was active and wrote often and had an opinion abut everything, including parenting. Now, with my 4-year old who is oh-so-headstrong and opinionated and questions with a “why” on almost everything she is told to do, I am at a loss. I am no longer sure of anything. I am always second guessing my decisions. I try to be patient and answer all her questions so as not to just make her obey orders, and yet sometimes, the questions are never ending and I am forced to shout “Do it because I told you so”. And thereafter the guilt trip starts…

Some days, she would be my little girl, sweet, and obedient. And just when I have let my guard down thinking, I finally have a grip on this thing called “parenting”, she brings out all her secret moves. Crying, moping, giving me a silent treatment (yes, at 4!) and being a total nuisance about EVERYTHING. And what do I do? Move away from her even though what I really want is to give in and see her smile. And thereafter the guilt trip starts…

I am all about balance. My priorities lie half way between “being at the top of your class” to “not knowing a thing” and “Never hit the child” to “Spare the rod, spoil the child”. So I just nag her enough to do a little bit of reading and writing everyday and letting her play the rest of the time. And sometimes, when the whining and crying while lying on the floor of the grocery store go out of hand, she does get a nice whack from me. And then she says, “you don’t love me”. Thereafter, the guilt trip starts…

And then, at the library, a lady asked me if I was planning to have a second because “she is so cute, and obviously wants a sibling”. I have learnt to deal with this incessant question. I say a firm NO because “she is more than two handfuls”. But what I really want to say is, “Hey you! Do you know I had a 16hour+ labor to bring her into this world? And without an epidural, mind you. And then she just wouldn’t sleep the whole night for the next 1.5 years. And then we had to potty train her, get her off her pacifiers and feeding bottles. And then by that time, she was cool enough to ask endless questions. And sometimes, I have to shout at her and whack her because she needs to become a good person. I am already on a never ending guilt trip. You think I want to add to that??!!”

But, of course, I don’t say this because people would think I am crazy. More importantly, a crazy mother.
On that note, Happy Mothers’ Day! Or may be, “Happy Guilty Person’s Day” 😉

Picture courtesy: Google

Practice What You Preach!

I don’t think there is anyone in this world who has not heard this from the parents – You don’t listen to us. You have bad manners, you have no etiquette etc. Also, somehow, others’ children are always better behaved and well-mannered than ours. We always tend to believe that it is the children who are the problem. That no matter how many times we tell them, they just don’t seem to learn. But wait. Have we ever heard of “practice what you preach”?


Parenting In A Joint Family

Living in a joint family set up has its ups and downs. Especially after having kids. There are people other than the husband and you to look after the child occasionally. While that may give the new parents, especially the new mother some time to relax and unwind, the repeated differences in the styles of parenting can be a dampener too.

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(Un)Learning ?

I am going to be a 2 month old mother. Little S is growing up fast and naughty. Everyday I think of things I will teach her, activities that I will do with her as she grows up. We, as adults think of  infants as these tiny fragile things who are incapable and helpless for just about everything. That we need to teach them anything and everything. How wrong could we be?

Little S Is a demanding kid. When she wants something she wants it. Now how on earth am I supposed to know what is it that she wants? All she does is cry. But even these tiny little people know how to get their message across. They have different styles of crying. Soft sounds which might be a warning, medium pitched crying by which time you should ideally be on your toes, and finally the high voltage wails which if you haven’t heeded the first two types of cries. God gave them only one weapon to start their journey. And boy, do they use it well.

These little people are just like animals in so many ways. No pun intended. Their sensory skills are so sharp. Don’t they just surprise you when you put them down on the bed and lo, surprised wondering eyes greet you. And this is when you have been rocking them for the past half hour or more and you are busy congratulating yourself for the good work done. They can differentiate between the softest cradle and their parents’ arms. I know I know. All you new mums like me are nodding your heads and smiling 🙂

As we grow up, we rely so much on what the eyes see and what the ears hear. As we grow, we gradually forget or unlearn how sensitive and initutive we were, once. And that makes me think, I have so much to learn from little S rather than the other way round….isn’t it?