Thinking out loud..

Sometimes I come back to my blog after a break, a couple of weeks or a month, and I feel like, “Hey, do I know you?” It’s the exact same feeling when you are fighting with your husband who you have known for a decade now. True, right? ๐Ÿ™‚

These days, I often go back and read my old posts and think about the time when I was active and wrote often and had an opinion abut everything, including parenting. Now, with my 4-year old who is oh-so-headstrong and opinionated and questions with a “why” on almost everything she is told to do, I am at a loss. I am no longer sure of anything. I am always second guessing my decisions. I try to be patient and answer all her questions so as not to just make her obey orders, and yet sometimes, the questions are never ending and I am forced to shout “Do it because I told you so”. And thereafter the guilt trip starts…

Some days, she would be my little girl, sweet, and obedient. And just when I have let my guard down thinking, I finally have a grip on this thing called “parenting”, she brings out all her secret moves. Crying, moping, giving me a silent treatment (yes, at 4!) and being a total nuisance about EVERYTHING. And what do I do? Move away from her even though what I really want is to give in and see her smile. And thereafter the guilt trip starts…

I am all about balance. My priorities lie half way between “being at the top of your class” to “not knowing a thing” and “Never hit the child” to “Spare the rod, spoil the child”. So I just nag her enough to do a little bit of reading and writing everyday and letting her play the rest of the time. And sometimes, when the whining and crying while lying on the floor of the grocery store go out of hand, she does get a nice whack from me. And then she says, “you don’t love me”. Thereafter, the guilt trip starts…


And then, at the library, a lady asked me if I was planning to have a second because “she is so cute, and obviously wants a sibling”. I have learnt to deal with this incessant question. I say a firm NO because “she is more than two handfuls”. But what I really want to say is, “Hey you! Do you know I had a 16hour+ labor to bring her into this world? And without an epidural, mind you. And then she just wouldn’t sleep the whole night for the next 1.5 years. And then we had to potty train her, get her off her pacifiers and feeding bottles. And then by that time, she was cool enough to ask endless questions. And sometimes, I have to shout at her and whack her because she needs to become a good person. I am already on a never ending guilt trip. You think I want to add to that??!!”

But, of course, I don’t say this because people would think I am crazy. More importantly, a crazy mother.
On that note, Happy Mothers’ Day! Or may be, “Happy Guilty Person’s Day” ๐Ÿ˜‰

Picture courtesy: Google

Little Miss S!

I hate it when I realize I havenโ€™t written about the little missy in a long time. I still remember the time I feared pregnancy like it was ebola or something. And now I have a daughter who is 14 months old. Phew! Mr. Time! You gotta stop running like Ussain Bolt.

I hate it that when she grows up, I will not have as many stories of hers to cherish because I didnโ€™t write them down. Thatโ€™s lame, right? A mother got to do what she got to do. The little missy is growing up fasshhtt. Thank you God! She is such a pretty child (touchwood!) and so so naughty. 

She loves to shout. Wow, right? Such a great thing for a hobby. She can easily compete with your latest fighter jets and what not.

She loves to sing. This is not a surprise as her mommy is a bathroom singer and daddy, an amateur singer. The funny part is she loves to sing even though she still babbles in her own language. But itโ€™s a lot of fun to watch her sing. I think she has picked this up from the TV. She puckers up her face in deep concentration and then moves head from left to right as if she is doing a raag alaap.And do you know what her favorite song is? Humsafar! Yo, mommyโ€™s favorite is her favorite as well! Until we grow up and rebel !

Like all toddlers, she can shake a mean bum to Yo Honey Singh! I can only hope her choice gets better as she grows up. Right now, she loves โ€œBaby Dollโ€ and โ€œChittiyaan Kalaiyaanโ€. She actually tries to copy the dance steps from TV. Imagine! 14 month old, so what!

She loves the kitchen as she can find her shastras there. Eveery evening, as I prepare her food, she walks in , opens the drawer, fishes out 2 chamchas (ladels) and starts to beat the mommy. Yo domestic violence!
When denied the authority of the said shastra, she proceeds to bite the gas pipe in retaliation. Badle ki aag, you see! I think she has inherited the filmy quotient from her melodramatic mother ๐Ÿ˜›

She has recently started to say โ€œchaiโ€ (tea). She goes to the kitchen drawer, retrieves the seiver, bites it and says chai! I think Iโ€™ll be forced to switch to coffee soon! She also calles โ€œaalooโ€ (potato) as โ€œlalooโ€ and then smiles. I think she does it on purpose. Political satirist in the making? ๐Ÿ˜‰

She loves to listen to her rhymes. Any number of them, any number of times a day! No wonder on most days, I am humming Twinkle Twinkle and Humpty Dumpty under my breath. #NotGood

She calls us mumma and papa in the sweetest tone possible. She goes all soft and cutesy, cocks her head to a side, and says Mumma/Papa and gives a deep dimpled smile. I think I thank God countless times each day for this Heaven!

But the best of all is her love for books. As soon as I had gotten pregnant, I had worried about if my child would share my penchant for books. And I am so glad, she does. Her eyes instantly perk up at the sight of a new book. Her tireless feet halt only at the sight of a book. Although it is another matter that she finishes her book in under a minute. She stops at a page, sees the picture, copies whatever the animal/human in her book is doing, and turns the page. So one day, as I walked past her, sitting on the bed and reading, she looked up and put her finger on the mouth and said to me โ€œchupโ€.She was aping the monkey from her “Boo” (that’s what she calls her books)

May we always have more “Boo”s to read and our “Boo” shelf be overflowing! ๐Ÿ™‚

(Un)Learning ?

I am going to be a 2 month old mother. Little S is growing up fast and naughty. Everyday I think of things I will teach her, activities that I will do with her as she grows up. We, as adults think of  infants as these tiny fragile things who are incapable and helpless for just about everything. That we need to teach them anything and everything. How wrong could we be?

Little S Is a demanding kid. When she wants something she wants it. Now how on earth am I supposed to know what is it that she wants? All she does is cry. But even these tiny little people know how to get their message across. They have different styles of crying. Soft sounds which might be a warning, medium pitched crying by which time you should ideally be on your toes, and finally the high voltage wails which if you haven’t heeded the first two types of cries. God gave them only one weapon to start their journey. And boy, do they use it well.

These little people are just like animals in so many ways. No pun intended. Their sensory skills are so sharp. Don’t they just surprise you when you put them down on the bed and lo, surprised wondering eyes greet you. And this is when you have been rocking them for the past half hour or more and you are busy congratulating yourself for the good work done. They can differentiate between the softest cradle and their parents’ arms. I know I know. All you new mums like me are nodding your heads and smiling ๐Ÿ™‚

As we grow up, we rely so much on what the eyes see and what the ears hear. As we grow, we gradually forget or unlearn how sensitive and initutive we were, once. And that makes me think, I have so much to learn from little S rather than the other way round….isn’t it?

Meet the Real Parents!

“God couldn’t be everywhere, so he created Mothers!”
“My Daddy strongest!”
No, I haven’t suddenly turned all parent-patriotic, armed with a facebook status, shouting from the rooftop “Yes Mama Papa….I love you”. No thank you very much. I’d like to do it in my own quiet way, inside my home and not on my FB wall. Because that’s the last ‘Wall’ my parents are going to check for my Love graffiti messages. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Anyway, the reason for this post was a phone call. Don’t ask me who. You are going to guess it by the end of the post.
Pretty much like handing over legacy down to your son(s) and house keys to daughter-in-law(s), there is another phenomenon of handing down torture to the future generations. And yeah, I am not only talking about ragging in colleges! I have seen many of my own juniors who absolutely hated the R-word but, by the end of the semester, were so amused and almost so enthusiastic about it, that they turned out to be those dreaded seniors who didn’t spare a single fuccha in college!

Anyway, the point I am driving at is that our parents are just a variant of the “College Senior” species. You know, the ones, who were coaxed into marriage by their own kin, who allured these poor souls into believing that it was the best thing happening to them and that they would live “happily ever after”. And like ragging, after all these years of struggle and sustenance and tolerating kids like us, these guys pretty much begin to believe that this is, indeed, a kind of happiness. I think it’s not their fault too. Anyone would be disillusioned in 20 years into believing that kind of stuff. ๐Ÿ˜›

But you can meet these Real parents only, once you are Out of college. So as soon as YOU turn a “marriageable age” according to the “College Senior” species, they will try to allure you too, with day dreams and false promises of a happily ever after life. But you see, kids these days are too smart for that! Now, did we not give them a real hard time, while tearfully agreeing to part with our beloved bachelorhood/spinsterhood status? I can feel some of you giving a crooked smile because you are still revelling in your Oh-So-Single status.

And no, the buck doesn’t stop just there. According to the “College Senior”, having a baby/planning a baby/getting pregnant within a year of marriage is the best thing that you can do to yourself or with your life. And no, you shouldn’t dare debate the topic with them. Otherwise, you will be made to listen to umpteen stories of ladies, who apparently had to go the Ash way (you know, fertility treatments and sky rocketing medical bills and test tube babies!) and That’s NOT GOOD! They did it and now you must too. Talk about handing down legacy!

You can act horrified, and say yes Mama and no Mama and try to divert the topic but the “College Senior” never takes No for an answer. Up to you to decide to be the Meek Junior and say, “Yes Sir” or be the Cheeky One and say, “Yes Sir, you heard it right! I WONโ€™T do it!โ€

PS: Have you met your Real Parents yet?