It’s funny I am doing a character biopsy of Carrie Bradshaw because she is a writer and does the exact same thing for a living. Sex and the City is a famous show featuring four women friends, who wade through life having each other’s back. All four are pretty strong characters in their own right, but the one that moved me the most is Carrie. She lives in NY and is weekly columnist for New York Observer.
The first thing that made me feel connected with her was the fact that she was a writer AND she wrote about relationships, feminism, sexual freedom and promiscuity. Carrie falls in love with a certain Mr. Big, handsome but commitment phobic. Mr. Big develops cold feet on the day of their wedding, leaving Carrie at the altar. She is angry, depressed, and dejected all at the same time. While all her friends tell her that they have never trusted Mr. Big, Carrie still cannot believe it. This stuff always happens in the movies. Or to other people. For her, she had the perfect relationship. She had been hit by a running train.
Carrie is a deeply emotional person and a hopeless romantic at that. She loves Mr. Big deeply and wants him to reciprocate the same. But Mr. Big is commitment phobic and is quite open about it. But Carrie is so deeply in love with him that even when she confronts the truth, she doesn’t want to accept it. She wants to go right back to the safety of the knowledge that Mr.Big loves her as much as she does. Eventually as she and Mr.Big break up, she takes a long time to come to terms with it.
After a few inconsequential one night stands, she ends with the very sincere Aidan. He, is exactly what Carrie thinks she wanted. He is all things that Carrie ever wanted in Big. Aidan loves her deeply, for the person that she is. He never has any qualms admitting it either. For sometime, everything goes well. They even get engaged and Carrie thinks that he is the one for her until one day, she bumps into Mr. Big at a party. He introduces Carrie to his girlfriend who he is about to get married to. And that throws off Carrie, right into that deep tunnel where she was after being dumped at the altar. She cannot understand why he didn’t marry her but was ready to marry this new girlfriend. She doesn’t want to admit to her herself that she cannot take it. Probably she is jealous. Or maybe she never got over him. And after a couple of short meetings, Carrie finds herself in Mr. Big’s bed one night and understands what she’s gotten into. She is the cheater in her relationship.
Carrie is also a very honest person. And so, one fine day she reveals the truth about her affair to Aidan, leaving him in pretty much the same state as she was after being dumped by Mr.Big. Aidan didn’t know what he lacked. What could he have done to not let this happen. And while consoling Aidan, it finally hit Carrie that there was nothing that Aidan could have done. Because the problem lied with her. And it also made her understand that it was also not her but Big’s commitment phobia that led to their breakup. It wasn’t her.
Later, Aidan and Carrie do get back together only to part ways one more time. Aidan could never get back to loving Carrie or trust her as before. But Carrie finally finds herself free of any baggage and ready for a fresh relationship. Eventually she does fall in love with a French guy, Aleksandr, who convinces her to move to Paris with him. Long story short, things do not work out with him and in the meantime, Big’s marriage falls apart too. And he finally realizes that he has always loved Carrie. A very melodramatic reunion later, they do end up getting married.
The sexual freedom and promiscuity of western society aside, I connected a lot with Carrie’s personality. The depth of love she has for Mr. Big comes from a place of deep emotions. Even though she is a writer and can decode relationships for friends and the entire city of New York, she herself is at the mercy of her own heart. She loves her friends and they have all been there for each other through multiple heart breaks, child birth and even cancer. They have all discussed retiring together and being there for each other without needing a man. That, not marriage is the only “happily ever after” in a woman’s life. It may have been true for some others, but the Carrie I know and understand would never ever be satisfied with just that.
This is what she is, in her own words:
I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.