That magical moment…

It’s a weekend and a perfect excuse to sleep late. Their lazy siesta suddenly starts buzzing with noises. There’s an alarm clock ringing somewhere, and perhaps somebody at the door too. They both get up with a start and shoot an alarmed look at the wall clock. It couldn’t be 11 already! They quickly get dressed, open the door for the maid and get on with their morning activities.

While the maid is cleaning, they sit out in the balcony, savoring a cup of hot ginger tea in one hand and a newspaper in the other. They are unperturbed by the clutter in the kitchen, silently enjoying a relaxing start to the day after a mad rush to office every morning the past week. They look at each other, smile and exchange the newspapers. They have begun to enjoy each other’s’ silence and companionship.

As the sun rises higher, they realize they haven’t had anything to eat since they woke up. She asks what he would like for breakfast. He smiles, enters the kitchen and starts gathering the ingredients for her favorite breakfast. Fifteen minutes later, he is sitting on the kitchen counter with a plate of hot and crispy French toast in hand, while she is cooking another batch. He offers her a bite, although he knows she hates to have her breakfast like that – standing in the kitchen and cooking. She likes it relaxed – sitting on the bed, reading a book or watching TV or talking to him. She looks at him with a half twisted face expressing her anger. He winks at her and makes her eat an entire piece.

 

She mutters a silent “Thank you” to God under her breath. For this man, who has made her life perfect. There’s an easy camaraderie between them, the one she believed she could only have with her best friends. But he made sure he became her best friend. Making her comfortable, pampering her, spoiling her for choices, listening to her, caring for her and most importantly, doing everything only for her. Not for anything in return. His selflessness overwhelms her. She seldom thinks if she can ever love him with such capacity.

Her favorite song is playing on radio, in the background. And there they are, moving about the house, doing their chores. Without any romantic words to fill the silences. Just a crooked naughty smile, winking eyes and an embarrassed anger feigning laugh. It’s their magical moment. The one, she always wants to keep in her heart. The one she always wants to remember whenever she looks back at the life spent with him. The one she wants to tell her kids and grand kids about. The one because of which she knows what Love is, without the drudgeries of lengthy promises, or commitments or words that sometime spoil the unsaid.

*photo cortesy Google

And you thought I was dead already?

I haven’t updated the blog in 20 days. To me, it seems like forever. I haven’t done this ever since I started to write here and experienced a different world altogether. But off late, things hadn’t been too promising. There was too much happening on the personal front, professional front, social front, you know? I was so caught in this mayhem of office, personal life, social commitmnets, having to pacify everyone around me. And so that left me almost breathless.

There were a lot of incidents happened that made me think, made my hands itch to write. But the mind was so overworked that I couldn’t get a single coherent thought make way to the blog without a million others bombarding my poor brain. Things took a turn for the worse when I accidentally deleted one of my stories that I had written for a contest. It was a grand idea and I had sat up late at night to finish it before it lost its charm. But! It was not to be, and ever since I haven’t been able to (metaphorically) pick the pen!

Readers have been kind enough to visit the blog regularly and some of them even professed to having missed me. Yay!! Some even came up with ideas just in case I was suffering from writer’s block! Actually it was just the opposite of that! Anyhow, I loved the compliments and affection and was longing to feel that exhilarating feeling I feel every time I unburden myself with abstract thought taking the shape of beautiful words and connecting me to a wide range of people who love me, and love to hate me!

And all this while I was gone,

-I watched a couple of movies, including the recently released barfi. Loved it completely.
-Read a couple of good books. (one of those long pending in to-be-read books list)
-Got a few surprises from H. Including new books and a very cute bag! :-))
-Fought with an old friend and that made me think a lot about people and how they could possibly outgrow each other even after a long 10 years of togetherness!
-Met my chaddi buddy N, after the longest time that we have known to be apart. We had an amazing time  like always, catching up on our lives and generally having fun!

Had some blooper moments too.
-Like I washed my awesome Sony cyber shot camera in the washing machine and no points for guessing, it’s broken and can be fixed for an amount equal to its original cost. And so, (no points for guessing again) we have decided to buy a new camera.
-I also dropped my phone a couple of times. And one of those times, lost my 4GB memory card. And with it, all my data, photos and most importantly my song list that I had so painstakingly created 🙁

H has been a real sweetheart after recovering from his illness and acted so cool after I “washed” the camera. He even jokingly remarked that now the pictures would be so much cleaner! Ha! Now you know why I married him! 😛

And it feels like I have lived the excitement of a whole life within the last 20 days while nobody could guess from the outside, that so much action could be happening in my life on the inside. But now I think that I am back for good and doing what I do best – blabber!

And oh yes, my twin M has completed her Ph.D. And is now officially a doctor. And are we immensely proud!!

Stay blessed until the next time!

You and I…

Everything in my life can be divided into two eras – Before I met You and After I Met You. But somehow I can’t recall the time Before I met you. You know why?
Being a huge SRK fan and all his chick lit, romantic and love-is-forever kinda movies, I always thought that the day I was conspired to meet you, I would just know. How? That I never figured out. But alas! Nothing like that happened. You walked in, I saw you, you saw me and we turned away our faces as politely as strangers do after scanning other strangers around them.
That day when the lights went out for our first video test, I turned back to look at something. And you saw my eyes. Only my eyes. And you say that got you hooked. You loved them..large, round, dark brown and moist. I don’t quite believe you to this day 🙂
One day I was reading one of my favorite books when you came up to me and asked if you could borrow the book. And that day we spoke for the first time. And now I realize that it’s only poetic justice that a book brought us together. Our mutual love for books has indeed bought us a long way.
And then a creep started making my life difficult by almost stalking me. I was afraid to venture out of that room. And coincidentally (?) you were the only guy left. I asked you  to walk with me till the gate without telling you the reason. You were quite amused by my antics, but you still decided to come along. And scare away the creep you did, by walking me safely till my cab every day. You really felt protective of me since then? *gulp*
And then one day when I was telling you some random stuff, your expression changed to something that was akin to spotting your beloved mango on an apple tree. You couldn’t have been more surprised. And then you opened your blog and showed me an article that you had written that was almost exactly what I was telling you. How that happened to two complete strangers, I don’t know. But today, it makes my belief stronger that you and I were conspired to be together.
And then we began to hang out together in a group. Everybody thought there was something between us. Except you and I. Although they did make lot of jokes about a tall handsome 6 footer dating a shy kid-like 5 footer.
Do you remember that truth and dare game we played once? Where we all had to write on paper chits,  who we would like to go out on a date with, from that room? And to the amazement of everybody present, you and I were the only people to have written each other’s names. And imagine that we still didn’t see any signs (as SRK says) 😛
It was time for you to leave the organization. I was sad. But I didn’t cry. Why would I? After all we had been friends for only about 3 months. And nothing magical like “kuch kuch hota hai” had happened between us. But after a few days, I missed you way more than I should have missed a 3 month old friend. I cried and I sobbed and yet I tried to talk to you normally because I wasn’t even sure what this was all about. It was so crazy that I never figured it could be that four letter word that everyone had been saying all along. I never believed my SRK fantasy could ever come true.
And then it was time for me to leave. To another city. Now this was serious business. When you left the org, at least we were in the same city and could have met if we wanted to. Moving to different cities would make things ever so complicated. We decided to meet for the one last time. Because the future was so uncertain, who knew what the next six months would bring for you and me? May be you would move to another city too, like me. And then maybe we would fondly remember each other as “that sweet/crazy” friend of mine.
But you decided to make the move. You gave me my first love letter. And then there is this another hilarious story of how I accepted and more importantly, understood it. (may be I will do another post on it later). And you also gave me the best gift that you have given me till date – a copy of my all time favorite book that I had lost. If not for any other reason, I would have said my “Yes” only for this 😛 :-))

 

Remember the rules of our relationship we laid down on that day? And now I realize how mature we both were even at the start of our relationship:-) And even though, those rules were so cute, they held us in good stead until we figured out this relationship was for keeps.
And some five odd years later, nothing has changed. My heart still skips a beat when you call me by those stupid nick names that only you and I know. I still get goose bumps when you give me that SRK waala long hard stare, that gaze which bores into my eyes, and touches my soul. You still pamper me with your crazy surprise gifts. You get so mad when I fall ill and I can see you struggle helplessly because you can’t ease my pain. You travel  more than 4 hours every day so that I can reach home safe and sound before dark. You can read my silence. You can still make me do a full throated laughter with your silly antics and jokes. You make me laugh even when I am crying. And the best time is when you cradle me into your arms like a baby and soothe me while I shed copious tears or generally become a bundle of nerves. You always keep me on my toes by just being yourself. I even cherish the time that we spend fighting with each other, because it is spent with you.
Now you know why I worry endlessly about you? Why you mean the world to me? Why I keep telling you to always take extra care and not be your over-adventurous self? Why I shout at you, even though what I really want is to hug you tight and say, “Thank God you are safe!”?
Why I keep saying that you are the one I want to annoy the rest of my life? And may be in my next life too?
I hope, now you know why 🙂

The Relationship Basics!

Now, I am no expert in this domain, and as far as I understand the way it works, nobody is. Ya, we do have relationship experts who advice and counsel us on what is the best thing to do under certain circumstances. But I like to believe that they have indulged in name calling and petty fights themselves, at on odd time or two. After all, they are just as humane as us. But as people (read friends and siblings) around me get into new relationships, and I see them blushing a deep crimson at one time and in the depths of gloom at other because ‘he/she doesn’t understand me’, I have more than a few words of wisdom to share. You know, been there done that! 😉
Here they go, in no particular order:
1) If you are in a relationship for good (read: long term/getting married), please do not mould it on the basis of how other people would like to see it. After all, you are the one who is going to be the central part of it. Mould it just the way you both can fit in snugly! 😉 (No pun intended :-P)

 2) Set the ground rules. More often than not, all of us are particular about some habits that we absolutely cannot stand in our partner, while we may be able to adjust with some other distractions. Now these things differ from one person to the other, pretty much like one apple from the other! Please let the other person know of  these early in the relationship and save yourself a lot of heart pain.

3) Communication is the key word. Now which relationship in the world does not have fights. Don’t shy away from them nor be prepared for one, every second. But if you disagree about something(s) (which I am sure you will, if not, it’s NOT normal!), sit down and discuss. No good came out of WWI or WWII, and nothing of the sort is going to happen with your silly fight too. No point of throwing tantrums, or living in denial, or washing your dirty linen in public. In the end, you are still going to have to sit down and discuss. Better do it the first time around.

4) NEVER GET PERSONAL during a fight! No mudslinging on your partner’s character or parents’ name calling. Run in the opposite direction if your partner does that. Respect is a very important ingredient in a relationship, more so than love. You cannot love a person until you respect him. 

If your partner has the habit of getting personal, keep your silence and dignity. You will be so proud of yourself some years later, of not having given into the temptation of falling down to his/her level.

5) Save your best side for later.
Now which girl is going to reject a man who looks handsome, smells good, earns decently and is chivalrous as well? Or which guy in his sane mind wouldn’t like to take home a girl who is good looking, caring and loves him to death?
But more often than not, people on their best behavior in the early days of their relationship and once they tie the knot or the relationship is a year or two old, the behavioral curve starts hip-hopping. And you will be left wondering as to what changed.
Utilize the time that you get before marriage(esp. in arranged marriages) to know your partner better. Show your bad side too. If your partner can love with your follies, imagine how your life will  be with all the good in you.

Otherwise you will be in for some real surprises later. And all surprises ain’t good!

6) Opposites attract, but make sure that you two have at least a thing or two in common. Otherwise, a few years down the line, you will have nothing worthwhile to discuss and only a pile of things to bicker about.

 

 

7) Last, but not the least. Show faith in your partner. It is good to keep your eyes and ears open and look for hidden meanings in the sweet (and long) conversations in the initial months, but don’t make it a habit of misunderstanding him/her for any and every small thing. After all, isn’t your relationship/marriage a leap of faith too?

 

You may or may not agree with a couple or all the points above. But that’s okay. What I have observed and learnt from my experience is that even though each of us are different in some way or the other and so are our mutual relationships, somehow all relationships follow some pretty similar graphs. (I think I will write another post discussing the various kinds of graphs ;-))

I can already see some cynics turning up their noses at the idea of falling in love with a check list in hand. Of course, love is blind, deaf, mute and completely illogical! But it alone is not sufficient for an “and they lived happily ever after” world. After all, people are not paper that you can bundle them up and see under a lamp!
So dearies, once you have fallen (in love), stand up, brush yourself and do consult your checklist before taking the plunge and saying those beautiful words, “I Love You too!”
Ther are no perfect people or relationships in this world. Just the Happy ones and the miserable ones!
All pictures courtesy Google.

Him and Her – Part IV

She is in the happiest phase of her life. Probably, He too. But perhaps, she can never be too sure.

She’s learnt the truth of “Never say never” the hard way. Like never wanting to step into the kitchen. Like not wanting a bedroom which smelled like a fart-zone. Like never imagining she could be this happy.

Just like amateur drivers, she and he had experienced the initial thuds and shocks while manuvering their life together. But they were, perhaps, fast learners. Or maybe, being with each other had made them very instinctive about each other and their needs. Or maybe it was Love. It could still be there. Lying crumpled and unfelt under layers of expectations, and lost in the everyday routine of office and house work and trying to catch up with too many things at the same time.

After that inital mayhem, they were looking ahead at wide clean roads, without a bump.
They had the license (to love). They had a life together which they could take anywhere they wanted. And they were happy driving it.

H: (putting a hand around her waist) When are you planning to get rid of those love handles?
S:  (sarcastically) Never! If I can help it. I need to have anything that remotely spells L-O-V-E.
H: (crooked smile) So I guess I have to get used to loving so much more of you.
S: wink wink!

And, they looked at the long, wide road ahead of them.
This was one long bump-free ride they wished would never end.

PS: So long till the next ‘speed-breaker’ ;-))