Thinking out loud..

Sometimes I come back to my blog after a break, a couple of weeks or a month, and I feel like, “Hey, do I know you?” It’s the exact same feeling when you are fighting with your husband who you have known for a decade now. True, right? πŸ™‚

These days, I often go back and read my old posts and think about the time when I was active and wrote often and had an opinion abut everything, including parenting. Now, with my 4-year old who is oh-so-headstrong and opinionated and questions with a “why” on almost everything she is told to do, I am at a loss. I am no longer sure of anything. I am always second guessing my decisions. I try to be patient and answer all her questions so as not to just make her obey orders, and yet sometimes, the questions are never ending and I am forced to shout “Do it because I told you so”. And thereafter the guilt trip starts…

Some days, she would be my little girl, sweet, and obedient. And just when I have let my guard down thinking, I finally have a grip on this thing called “parenting”, she brings out all her secret moves. Crying, moping, giving me a silent treatment (yes, at 4!) and being a total nuisance about EVERYTHING. And what do I do? Move away from her even though what I really want is to give in and see her smile. And thereafter the guilt trip starts…

I am all about balance. My priorities lie half way between “being at the top of your class” to “not knowing a thing” and “Never hit the child” to “Spare the rod, spoil the child”. So I just nag her enough to do a little bit of reading and writing everyday and letting her play the rest of the time. And sometimes, when the whining and crying while lying on the floor of the grocery store go out of hand, she does get a nice whack from me. And then she says, “you don’t love me”. Thereafter, the guilt trip starts…


And then, at the library, a lady asked me if I was planning to have a second because “she is so cute, and obviously wants a sibling”. I have learnt to deal with this incessant question. I say a firm NO because “she is more than two handfuls”. But what I really want to say is, “Hey you! Do you know I had a 16hour+ labor to bring her into this world? And without an epidural, mind you. And then she just wouldn’t sleep the whole night for the next 1.5 years. And then we had to potty train her, get her off her pacifiers and feeding bottles. And then by that time, she was cool enough to ask endless questions. And sometimes, I have to shout at her and whack her because she needs to become a good person. I am already on a never ending guilt trip. You think I want to add to that??!!”

But, of course, I don’t say this because people would think I am crazy. More importantly, a crazy mother.
On that note, Happy Mothers’ Day! Or may be, “Happy Guilty Person’s Day” πŸ˜‰

Picture courtesy: Google

One and a half years, twice the drama!

The little one is on a rampage these days. She has always been a hyperactive child, right from her days in the womb. But now, at 1.5 years, with feet and mind firm and always running, she is giving me the hiji bijis. I feel like the Terrible Twos have already started. Only 6 months too early.

Yesterday she gave me a full blown tantrum at the mall where we had gone to buy her a new pair of shoes. By the way, she threw her old shoes down from our 7th floor balcony and lost them is another story. At the mall, I also happened to like a dress for her. So I tried it on but it was a little too fitted for comfort. But apparently she had her heart set on it. She said she won’t take it off. I tried coaxing and cajoling, which by the way hardly ever works. And then, I took it off amidst her protests. In the next instant, she was down on the floor, wearing  shorts and shoes and no t-shirt, crying with all the energy she could fathom from her reserves. Of course, all the people were staring at us. The truce was reached with the barter of a chocolate-y bourbon biscuit.

After we reached home, she did the same with the shoes. She just didn’t want to part with them. I pried them open ONLY for her bath time. But hell hath fury! This little lady is not taking things lying down from mummy. Another full blown tantrum with lots of crying and red face was unleashed on mummy, and it subsided only when she was allowed to take a bath with her shoes on. And then had her dinner and milk and every other activity with her shoes on. She then went to sleep after talking to her shoes for quite some time, and also saying “bye” to it almost 500 times. I am traumatized, is to say the least.

The list of weird things she does is going up by the day and has me worried. Like for real.
The other day she was playing on the floor. And as usual, I had an eye on this mischief maker. Then I saw her pick up a grain of dust on her finger. She then put this finger in her nose and took a deep breath and snuffed it away. Putting everything in the mouth is too mainstream for her I guess!

I thought a lot about this and came up with a theory. I was sure she couldn’t have seen this on TV. So I figured she is just a curious toddler who is exploring all the open spaces accessible to her little hands. And prove me right she did. A day later, she tried to snuff some fruit peel. Since it didn’t oblige, she tried putting it inside her eyes. When that didn’t happen too, she put it at the spot right where the eye meets the bridge of the nose. And then went around the house proudly showcasing her creativity. She also tried to stuff my tic-tac clips in her ears today!

She has also thrown the rolling pin (belan) and steel containers down from our seventh floor balcony. Thankfully, no one has been hurt yet. But mommy dear definitely got a nice hearing from the building guard who saw her doing this both times.

Am I sounding grumpy and cribbing all over the place? Because that’s not the whole story. She is also growing up pretty and learning too many rhymes and songs and dance. She speaks non stop the whole time. And I have gone from “When will you speak?” stage to “Please baby, quiet for sometime” stage almost too soon. She loves reading her books more than ever and has even got a choice at which one she wants to read for the day. I am enjoying this stage as much as I can. The rest of the time, we have a screaming match. I ain’t winning any, though! πŸ˜›

Little Miss S!

I hate it when I realize I haven’t written about the little missy in a long time. I still remember the time I feared pregnancy like it was ebola or something. And now I have a daughter who is 14 months old. Phew! Mr. Time! You gotta stop running like Ussain Bolt.

I hate it that when she grows up, I will not have as many stories of hers to cherish because I didn’t write them down. That’s lame, right? A mother got to do what she got to do. The little missy is growing up fasshhtt. Thank you God! She is such a pretty child (touchwood!) and so so naughty. 

She loves to shout. Wow, right? Such a great thing for a hobby. She can easily compete with your latest fighter jets and what not.

She loves to sing. This is not a surprise as her mommy is a bathroom singer and daddy, an amateur singer. The funny part is she loves to sing even though she still babbles in her own language. But it’s a lot of fun to watch her sing. I think she has picked this up from the TV. She puckers up her face in deep concentration and then moves head from left to right as if she is doing a raag alaap.And do you know what her favorite song is? Humsafar! Yo, mommy’s favorite is her favorite as well! Until we grow up and rebel !

Like all toddlers, she can shake a mean bum to Yo Honey Singh! I can only hope her choice gets better as she grows up. Right now, she loves β€œBaby Doll” and β€œChittiyaan Kalaiyaan”. She actually tries to copy the dance steps from TV. Imagine! 14 month old, so what!

She loves the kitchen as she can find her shastras there. Eveery evening, as I prepare her food, she walks in , opens the drawer, fishes out 2 chamchas (ladels) and starts to beat the mommy. Yo domestic violence!
When denied the authority of the said shastra, she proceeds to bite the gas pipe in retaliation. Badle ki aag, you see! I think she has inherited the filmy quotient from her melodramatic mother πŸ˜›

She has recently started to say β€œchai” (tea). She goes to the kitchen drawer, retrieves the seiver, bites it and says chai! I think I’ll be forced to switch to coffee soon! She also calles β€œaaloo” (potato) as β€œlaloo” and then smiles. I think she does it on purpose. Political satirist in the making? πŸ˜‰

She loves to listen to her rhymes. Any number of them, any number of times a day! No wonder on most days, I am humming Twinkle Twinkle and Humpty Dumpty under my breath. #NotGood

She calls us mumma and papa in the sweetest tone possible. She goes all soft and cutesy, cocks her head to a side, and says Mumma/Papa and gives a deep dimpled smile. I think I thank God countless times each day for this Heaven!

But the best of all is her love for books. As soon as I had gotten pregnant, I had worried about if my child would share my penchant for books. And I am so glad, she does. Her eyes instantly perk up at the sight of a new book. Her tireless feet halt only at the sight of a book. Although it is another matter that she finishes her book in under a minute. She stops at a page, sees the picture, copies whatever the animal/human in her book is doing, and turns the page. So one day, as I walked past her, sitting on the bed and reading, she looked up and put her finger on the mouth and said to me β€œchup”.She was aping the monkey from her “Boo” (that’s what she calls her books)

May we always have more “Boo”s to read and our “Boo” shelf be overflowing! πŸ™‚

Birthday party continues…. :)

I had wanted to do something special for my daughter’s birthday. Partly because it was her first, but also because I wanted to set a trend for her for the years to come. It is something that I really believe in. To spend her birthday with the girls at Udayan Care. But we also wanted to have a “normal” party, to invite friends and family to bless her and spend some good time together. I also wanted to make this party a no-gifts party. But I knew no one would adhere to it simply because I was asking it. So instead, we planned a birthday party for little S and requested all our guests to not bring any gifts for her, but instead for the girls at Udayan Care. That way, we would be saved from hoarding unnecessary gifts for S, and in turn, helping other kids get something they need!

But it didn’t really go as planned. A majority of our guests gave us money since they could not decide what to bring for the girls. And so, we used that money to organize a birthday party for S with the Udayan girls and bought stuff that would be of use for them. We went to the Udayan care house this Sunday, met the girls and the super woman Kiran Modi ji who spearheads the entire thing. Little S was quite happy happy in the company of so many didis (elder sisters) and the girls too gave her all their attention.

I am really happy at the way both the parties happened. We met and entertained all our near and dear ones and little S got so many blessings. And most importantly, without hoarding on to things she didn’t need. And at the second party, the kids were so happy to have the little one celebrate with them. And we were happy as well to share her birthday gifts with them.

Leaving you with a few pictures from both the parties πŸ™‚

Little S enjoying with the girls πŸ™‚

 

The cake cutting

 

A group photo with the lovely kids!

 

The other birthday party πŸ™‚

PS: In reality, I do not like to share my outings with any NGO on a public space as it seems too arrogant/immodest to me. But since for this birthday party, we had already told our guests about our plan of donating the gifts to the girls at Udayan, I felt like sharing this update with all of them through the blog.
And if this inspires you to do something similar, it would be the most precious “return gift” of this birthday party πŸ™‚

X Chromosome!

During my pregnancy last year, the one question that we kept asking ourselves and each other all the time was, “What do you think it would be? Boy? Or girl?” Sex determination tests are banned in India to curb the menace of female infanticide. And so, even though we did our customary scans from time to time, we could never figure out the sex of the baby. We even tried asking the doctors but to no avail. In retrospect, it is a good thing if the practice of not revealing the gender is being followed religiously across the country.

There were lots of guesses. Friends and family took guesses based on their own experiences, the old midwives’ tales like the shape of the stomach, glow on the face etc. There are also a couple of Chinese zodiac quizzes which try to determine the baby’s gender taking into account the conception month, and symptoms the mother-to-be is facing like morning sickness etc. In my case, everything turned out accurately wrong. Everyone told me it would be a boy. All the Chinese tests said it would be a boy. And, so when the D-day arrived, and when I finally delivered my bundle of joy, I immediately just wanted to know what it was. We had waited long enough. But again, I had to wait a good 15 minutes before my X-chromosome (girls are XX and boys are XY) was brought and shown to me. And I remember giving her a giddy sweet long smile.
I know, for every parent, their child is the most beautiful, the sweetest and the best. Needless, to say, I love love love my X-chromosome. She is beautiful, she is smart and incredibly naughty. After I have had her, I can’t even imagine what it would have been like to have the Y chromosome πŸ˜‰ I can’t imagine a life without her. We were happy before we had her. Now, it’s euphoria πŸ™‚
My X chromosome πŸ˜€