Of heartbreaks and Mango!

And so, what if I was gifted a pepper spray by H on V-day? S (my bestie from college) made up for it by gifting me an absolutely gorgeous dress from Mango. And that’s the reason God made friends. They never fail to take you out of the dumps…don’t they? Thank you S for the awesome gift. And yeah, I will keep my promise. When you are here in Delhi, we are both going to wear our dresses, get clicked crazy and the photos will land on the blog. Pinky promise! 😉

On a totally unrelated note, a very close friend went through a break up recently. Until now, I thought that break ups were ugly and traumatizing and a trip to the hell. Only this time, I realized, they are even worse. Not necessarily in that order though.

Having never gone through that feeling (God forbid!), I can only take an estimated guess at how that must feel like. I just remember, how once, H left for a team event for 2 days, and I shed copious tears of bereavement. So there. I can only guess.

How hard it must be for a person to let go of another, who you have loved with all your heart, pinned all your hopes on him/her, probably even woven dreams of a happily ever after? You’d wonder when did it all come crumbling down? You never even noticed when things started going downhill.. It must be worse thinking about it in your head again and again and not getting any answers. Even if there were any clear answers, there would still be the hapless questions of why it all happened? Why didn’t he/she understand enough? Why didn’t they do what was right, instead make everything worse for both?

And then there’s the whole “news” about your break up that spreads like wildfire, and you actually have to tell everyone that, however, unfortunate that might be, it’s true. Heart breaking stuff. Every single time. And then the old memorabilia to deal with. The gifts, the roses kept in old books, your favorite songs, your favorite restaurant, your favorite hang out place.

Then the chicken-egg question of all times – to be friends with your ex or not?. And that depends on how the break up went. Most of them, I am sure, are ugly. I mean, really ugly where you would want to ground the other person on a bed of shit and pound them until…well…let me leave it at that! 😛

I am sure that to get yourself out of a heartbreak is an immense task. Almost a miracle. It changes a person. When you move on, I am sure it’s not at all easy.There must be a whole lot of data backup in your mind, you’d wish would just crash without any recovery possible. Since that doesn’t happen, you hide the pain, put on a smile and move forward. Until one day, you find a person who fits in just perfectly in your life, like the last piece in a jigsaw puzzle completes the picture. And that day you realize that it all happened for a reason. The heart break, the pain, the anger, the remorse. Those were God’s ways of turning you in the right direction, to the right person.

This post is dedicated to her who is doing all this and much more. Still rocking it where it matters. Still twisting life by its’ horns. Still retaining the zeal and passion for love.
This post is also dedicated all those who have ever gone through a break up and triumphed over it. To all those who have moved on in life and connected the dots backwards. To all those who have never had to go through a breakup, and are thankful for it. 

Another milestone! Or is it?

It’s our second Wedding anniversary. What’s wrong with time? Forget the “Time flies” adage, I think time is travelling in one of those Japanese bullet trains. Before you know it, you hear a “Whooshh” and that’s another milestone passing by. It feels like, before I know it, I’ll be a dadi/nani, recounting stories of of romance, love and commitment hamare zamaane ke, you know.

But, on a serious note, it’s been a fabulous journey so far. I have been so happy at times, that I wanted to pinch myself to believe if it was true! And then there were times, when we have fought like there was no tomorrow. But we always make up. Not because we have to, but because we really want to. After a full fledged screaming match and calling each other names, we do get the feeling that the issue wasn’t really worth a fight. But then, a good scream and fight here and there, doesn’t hurt anyone right? In fact I feel, doing that sometimes is almost therapeutic. But yeah, you gotta underline that “sometimes”, ok? And whoever says and believes that “I love you for what you are” is completely bullshit and you should know that. Spouses keep trying (mostly unsuccessfully and therapeutically ;-)) to change each other and do succeed a little. Only to be faced with a “tum badal gaye ho” a little later. Married life is full of such and many other clichés. And yet, each journey is so different from the other.

H and I started ours on this day, two years ago. By far, it has been the most important, the most special and the most romantic day of my life. I had waited for it, yearned for it and was lucky enough, to get to live it.
Just like time, our equation too is changing everyday. At 2 years, I have learnt to cook, as much as a survival meal for two. Now that’s an achievement if you know my disapproval for cooking. And H has learnt that to get me to cook, he has to say this in the most pleasing way, “Don’t worry babes, we’ll order from outside”. Likewise, H hates to oil my hair (an activity which I emphasize must be carried out religiously 4 times a week). And so, I have learnt that I can almost (ALWAYS!) get it done if I top with a hot chocolate. So, there.

We both have our quirks. We love some of it. We try and change the rest. But as long as I can fit my head snugly in the nook of his arm at the end of a long day, I am not worried. I know we are moving in the right direction. Growing up. Having fun. Fighting it out. Most importantly, together.
Babes, I know you will agree to whatever I said above. If you don’t, well, we can always talk it out over a cup of hot chocolate, can’t we?

Hail the Bond couple! 😉

O (Wo) Maniya !!

The other day H and I were discussing about how a man woman relationship evolves from lovers to spouses to parents. Now this kind of conversation is often triggered whenever we visit my home or his. You know, seeing our respective set of parents married for over 30 years now, and still bickering over the same issues as 30 years ago makes me see red. The last thing I have on my mind is to spend the next 25 years of my life bickering and fighting and tearing my/his hair out for stupid things.

 

A few days back we had a small fight about something inconsequential and I jokingly remarked that if we were to ever have a son, I would scold and even beat him (if required) so that he should never turn out to be like  H  (the wicked wife that I am!). So H got all worked up about this and said that whatever fights/issues we have each other should always remain between the both of us and that we should never involve the kids. Talk about future planning! :-D:-D

And so that got me thinking about how men are such a strange species and that it is nearly impossible for women to live with them peacefully (If any of the men reading this feel the same way about women, I agree with you completely :-P). Men like their wives to NEVER behave like their mothers. Even though they want us to be fussy about them and pay attention to them and massage the Man ego every now and then, they really hate it when we say something like, “Don’t do this. It’s bad for your health!” Because while you are expecting your lover’s eyes looking at you in an appeasing way for being so thoughtful about your health and all that, all you get is a set of rolling eyes. And if this were to repeat a couple of times in a week, you are sure to hear the quintessential words from the “horse’s mouth” (pun intended!) “Stop acting like my mom!” 

Now when did the tables turn, you would never know? The last time you remember you did this, he was sufficiently happy and even told you that you reminded him of his mom. Maybe you should go see a doctor for a suspected case of STML (Short Term Memory Loss). And so, I did the same and went about happily following the doctor’s advice – shout at him like a wife, but don’t (read NEVER) care like his mother. No more picking on him, after all he is a grown up man and can take care of himself. That is, until  H  happened to fall ill. I took care of him and cooked for him, gave his meds on time and blah blah. But he was acting cranky and impatient, to the extent of being PMS-ey. Now this was more than I could take. After all, I had married a man capable of living on his own and having his own family and so on and so forth and I didn’t really expect him to throw tantrums like a 5 year old. The wife in me was irritated. But the mother in me saw through his actions. His actions were not really to harass me or irk me, but he was really having a bad time coping up with the illness.

I was in a dilemma. Should I switch roles? I couldn’t be sure if the tables would turn yet again. So I decided to talk to H about it. I told him that I couldn’t take his nagging another minute and that he should behave like a grown up man. Which 27 year old have you heard of, who lies on the bed and stomps his foot because he was denied a chocolate after the medicine? He said what I had guessed, that he was cranky because of the meds and that he really hated the house-arrest part, the restless kid that he is. But then, I told him that he shouldn ’t expect me to have any sympathy, or that if he did, he shouldn’t crib about it later. He laughed his guts out. Did it sound funny to you? Atleast I had berated myself in my mind a thousand times for acting so cold. After all we girls have always been raised with notions of pati parmeshwar and other shit!:-

And with that laugh, I realized that we too had evolved and transitioned from lovers to spouses. Here I was wondering what role to take up, but we both think I am best when I am the wife because I can make him laugh. Or more importantly, I can still make him laugh AND I get to be myself (Read: can shout at him at my discretion). So ladies, while you make a note of the doctor’s advice above, the men can enjoy this quote by George Burns that I have so thoroughly begun to understand now:

“Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who gives you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you are in the wrong house, that what it means.”

 



*All images courtesy Google

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Some stupid things that have been blocking my mind. Need to clear my Cache memory for better sanity.
So people, beware. It’s a no-holds-barred post below. Read at your own risk. ;-))
1) Why do people some think that every question being asked around in 100kms of their vicinity is waiting for their expert opinion? Even if they haven’t heard/understood the question correctly or even if they are not sure about the answer, they will be the first ones to vomit some shit. There’s one such piece in my office. And gosh! Do I hate her..!!!! It seems to me that nobody has ever (like really EVER) told her to shut up..!!!!! Today I reached my wits end and just wanted to slap her….Seriously, some people have that ability to bring out the animal in you. 😉
2) I get REALLY irritated when people put up weird status messages (on FB) only to garner attention and the real emotion is nowhere to be found.
One “friend” has this habit of updating her profile with statuses like “Down with viral and cold :(“, “Sinus is troubling me again :(:( “, “Miss you momma, papa”, blah blah. I just want to scream and tear her hair off.
Dude, you know what? You are like, really SiCk and you definitely need medical attention. Period.
As for Momma, Papa, better call them on their mobiles. Oohh Gosh..!!! It just didn’t occur to your before…or did it? <rolling eyes>
And something that irritates even more is, the above statuses garnering umpteen numbers of “likes” and stupid “comments” like get well soon, oohh babbyyy :-((  
Yeaahhhh…. <snarl>
3) I understand that a blog is your personal thing and you can write anything and everything. And again, it’s up to me if I want to spend my time reading it or not. But when you share your blog on a public platform, aren’t you kinda making it open for speculation and criticism?
What really irks me is that some really pathetic blogs (where people don’t even write the basic grammar right) have this huge, almost mind-numbing junta who follows the blog religiously. And for post after post, they will receive 20, 30 and up to 50 comments like wow, u have a writer in you, what a story..!!!!!!!!!
Why is Life soo unfair ????? :O
4) There’s this shop near my house which I frequent for daily stuff like milk, eggs etc. The owners, a brother duo (pot-bellied and overweight) are like, the slowest people on Earth. I think even tortoise would win a race game against them, if they ever decided. I still have my reservations that they would even think about racing, let alone do it.
“Slow as a snail” should be rephrased as “Slower than even a snail” for them. They have to often bear the brunt of my indignation. But boy.!! It doesn’t ruffle a feather on the other side.
Yesterday I wished I could slap them and wake them out of their self imposed slumber.
But but but..!!!! So much for social etiquettes. Sigh, yet again.
5)

H

and I hardly get 2-3 hours in day to ourselves. And if a fight crops up, the day is gone. You gotta wait for one full day to be back together. “Ye Dooriyaan” sucks….. :-(:-(

PS: Half way through the first year of being married. Already. Just seems like yesterday. Whooaa….time does fly…..sometimes……..I wish it flies today too……….