P (s)pells Pregnant!

 I have wanted to do this post since the longest time.  But I guess I was saving it for the P of the A to Z blogging challenge.  But as they say,  better late than never.

When I first received the confirmation of my pregnancy,  I was a mixed bag. I didn’t know what  to feel. I felt happy because we had succeded in achieving what we wanted to.  But other than that I was very anxious and majorly embarrassed.

The first trimester was a tough time. I had severe morning sickness and nausea.  I hated myself for giving in to the idea of getting pregnant.  I almost secretly wished something bad would happen so that I could be free again. I know it’s evil but the morning sickness lasted all day, day after day and was really really bad.

The second trimester was the best time of the entire pregnancy.  The morning sickness was gone. The tummy was not so huge. And there were the kicks and hiccups  and cravings. Although the cravings are not as hyper as they show in the movies. But yes pretty drastic.  Like I don’t eat spicy food at all. But when I was expecting,  I craved spicy food all the time. No wonder my girl is a teekhi mirchi 😉

And finally the last semester, full of leg cramps,  swollen feet, full bladder, tummy the size of an earthen pot and the anxiety of the impending big day. Will it be normal?  Will it be a c-section?  Will it be painful?  Have we stocked up everything we need?  Are we really prepared for this?

Despite all this, now I understand why people gush so much about pregnancy.  It’s not just about birthing a child. It’s about the miracle of a woman’s body to nurture a child,  a living being inside her body,  take care of all its needs, and yet go on  about her life as non chalantly as ever. It’s about doing things she would otherwise never do only for the sake of the child. And bear that pain, which I don’t think can be described in words, to welcome the child in this world.

Ever since the birth of my little one, I feel like a super woman. Like God’s blessed child to have experienced this enigma,  this mystery. And the gift is mine to keep for the rest of my life 🙂

 

E emotes Emotional!

Like the 2 sides of a coin, every decision in life comes with its pros and cons. Or to put it in context, 2 sets of emotions. The husband is flying out of country tonight for work. While we are elated at the news because it is an opportunity for him to grow in his professional life, it also means a disturbance in our personal lives because of the separation. This time, doubly hard, because of the kid involved 🙁

We have been separated by the long distance before. And I have been known to bawl my eyes out a week before the departure. And these were just intercity separations. I had no idea how I was going to fare this time. Different country and all. But as I bade goodbye to my sweetheart with a smile on my face, I felt like I have grown up. I was sad and I was tensed. Being with a 4 month old, all alone for the next 30-40 days isn’t child’s play. Pun intended 🙂 But the responsibility of the child did not weaken me. Infact it strengthened me to take it up head on. Motherhood and it’s learnings never stop I guess.

I have always wondered how our emotions shape our entire life, from our careers to our families. Because how we react to situations depends on our emotional quotient and our reactions to situations shapes our life. Most of us carry so much emotional baggage all the time. And sometimes, despite knowing the pitfalls of it, we can’t help but give in to it.

Because our IQ is just the tip of the iceberg!

But today, I surprised myself. Not a tear. A smile 🙂 And a prayer for his safety and success. Emotional intelligence, here I come 🙂