Thinking out loud..

Sometimes I come back to my blog after a break, a couple of weeks or a month, and I feel like, “Hey, do I know you?” It’s the exact same feeling when you are fighting with your husband who you have known for a decade now. True, right? 🙂

These days, I often go back and read my old posts and think about the time when I was active and wrote often and had an opinion abut everything, including parenting. Now, with my 4-year old who is oh-so-headstrong and opinionated and questions with a “why” on almost everything she is told to do, I am at a loss. I am no longer sure of anything. I am always second guessing my decisions. I try to be patient and answer all her questions so as not to just make her obey orders, and yet sometimes, the questions are never ending and I am forced to shout “Do it because I told you so”. And thereafter the guilt trip starts…

Some days, she would be my little girl, sweet, and obedient. And just when I have let my guard down thinking, I finally have a grip on this thing called “parenting”, she brings out all her secret moves. Crying, moping, giving me a silent treatment (yes, at 4!) and being a total nuisance about EVERYTHING. And what do I do? Move away from her even though what I really want is to give in and see her smile. And thereafter the guilt trip starts…

I am all about balance. My priorities lie half way between “being at the top of your class” to “not knowing a thing” and “Never hit the child” to “Spare the rod, spoil the child”. So I just nag her enough to do a little bit of reading and writing everyday and letting her play the rest of the time. And sometimes, when the whining and crying while lying on the floor of the grocery store go out of hand, she does get a nice whack from me. And then she says, “you don’t love me”. Thereafter, the guilt trip starts…


And then, at the library, a lady asked me if I was planning to have a second because “she is so cute, and obviously wants a sibling”. I have learnt to deal with this incessant question. I say a firm NO because “she is more than two handfuls”. But what I really want to say is, “Hey you! Do you know I had a 16hour+ labor to bring her into this world? And without an epidural, mind you. And then she just wouldn’t sleep the whole night for the next 1.5 years. And then we had to potty train her, get her off her pacifiers and feeding bottles. And then by that time, she was cool enough to ask endless questions. And sometimes, I have to shout at her and whack her because she needs to become a good person. I am already on a never ending guilt trip. You think I want to add to that??!!”

But, of course, I don’t say this because people would think I am crazy. More importantly, a crazy mother.
On that note, Happy Mothers’ Day! Or may be, “Happy Guilty Person’s Day” 😉

Picture courtesy: Google

The everyday Drama of Life!

 
The one reason that I have been away is because the husband is travelling again. And that means that I am just barely making it, day by day. The days are crazy without him. By the time I reach office, I feel I have been through a battle. That’s because right after I wake up, I prepare the little one’s bag for the day care. So clothes, diapers, breakfast, lunch, snacks, fruits and the rest of the universe it is. Take a bath and get ready. Then wake her up and begin the tantrums. Some days she wants to laze around on the bed. I have one eye on the clock and the other on her. Then very tactfully I have to coax her out of her stupor because if you have a toddler, you would know, a meltdown is not what you want at the beginning of your day. Follow it up with milk, brush your teeth, potty, bath and dressing up. Each task is as eventful as she can make it. And then a short car ride to the day care later, off she goes to spend her day playing. And off I go, to scramble and punch in my card and start my day with never ending work and boring meetings.

The evenings are no better. I pick her up on my way back home. She is so full of energy after having spent an eventful day with the kids and a nice 3 hour nap in the afternoon. The rest of the evening passes pretty much like the morning. I have an eye on the clock and the other on her. I am mentally counting the minutes to her bed time. You would know what I am saying if you have/ever had a hyper active toddler at home, plus a full time job and minus a husband 🙁

Anyhow, I digressed. A bit too much. The other reason that I haven’t been here is because I have been hooked onto this really cool show that airs on NatGeo called “Air Crash Investigation”.

 

 As the name suggests, they document air crashes around the world, investigate them and bring them to us in an hour long episode on how they painstakingly built an entire theory of something that happened half way to the moon. You have to see it believe its awesomeness. My husband says I am sadistic because I watch this show. Also because I have always had a phobia of flying, even before the low cost airlines came in and anyone and everyone around us was taking flights. As a child, I always took refuge in the fact that we would hardly ever need to fly. But now, of course the things have changed. I have flown quite frequently in the last few years. The husband is a frequent flier himself. And trust me, it doesn’t help to watch the show. Because I obsess too much about it. Every time I sit on a plane, I remember “that” episode where “so and so” happened. And all thanks to me, the husband has also developed a mild phobia of flying. But all said and done, the show is really awesome. 

The whole technology part on how every single move you take high up in the air has a digital counterpart on the earth is truly mind blowing. Also the way they construct an episode – firstly, how the accident unfolded (in detail), then how the investigation began, the roadblocks, and the clues that led them to the chain of events, is mind blowing. I know it’s a crash and I do feel sad, AND AFRAID! But the series is a must watch! And I’ll tell you what! After watching way too many episodes and crashes and seeing “everything that can go wrong does go wrong”, I have actually lost some of my phobia. Darr ke aage sach mei jeet hai!

PS : Yesterday I finished all the episodes and all the seasons of the show. And hence the time to come up with this post. 🙂

Isn’t Normal Extraordinary??

For each new parent, their child is like a new universe. Needless to say, their life revolves around it, but also everything the child does is exotic and out of the world. Their first smile, first coos, first word, first step and the list goes on. But truth be told, our universe follows a pattern, the sun, the moon, our planet and everyone else. And so do babies. More or less. Have you ever discoverd that whenever 2 or more new parents meet, their conversation automatically steers towards their babies and how their babies and what they do is just so unlike any kid they have seen 😉 In this age of competition, no one wants to be left behind. Children start pretty young. As young as days old.

The other day, I was going through a post in one of the parenting websites I access. A new mother, pretty much like us, was going on about how her son was extraordinary. I knew what she getting at and wasn’t going to read till the end but somehow I did. She had taken all possible care during her pregnancy and even later, when her son was born. At 11 months, her “extraordinary” son was showing early signs of autism. Needless to say, she and her family were devastated. And apart from the general horror of the news, it just got me thinking, isn’t Normal Extraordinary??

I am so glad my daughter does normal stuff kids her age do. And this is a lesson for all possessive and competitive parents to understand and appreciate the beauty of being normal. When little S grows up, as difficult as it may sound, I will try to be happy about her average grades rather than pining for the extraordinary. Or pushing her to get something that I want and probably she doesn’t.

Here is a prayer for all the “special ” children this world has : may God and your parents give you enough strength and courage to achieve your dreams and let you live a respectful life. And for all the other “normal” kids, do your best. Either way, you are the center of universe of your parents’ life.

Of Motherhood and Friendships !!

When I got pregnant last year, I thought about a lot of things that would change in my life. Like going out for a vacation or movie or dinner at our whim. Anytime, any place. Like reading and re-reading my favorite books late into the night. Like talking to H over a cup of steaming ginger tea late into the night. About my girl friends, or petty office politics, or the world hunger problems. I was prepared for these and how. Now vacations have to be pre planned and detailed to the T to make sure everything is baby friendly. Even a trip to the mall is like securing stuff for a rough night. Diapers, change of dress, milk yada yada. Books are a forgotten luxury. Oh boy! I miss them so so much. And as for H and I, there’s hardly any talk, forget world hunger. The little that we get to talk is, of course, about the baby. You know, baby’s milk, baby’s poo. So there.

But one thing that I hadn’t figured was that even friendships changed. Or to put it more correctly, friends change. Even if they are “happy” about your “good news”, in reality, they are just mentally checking you off from the party list. You find that weird, because you, at heart, are still the outgoing fun kinda girl. And when the baby arrives, you’d think they would be there to hold your hand and walk you through this difficult stage in your life. But holy cow. That’s a good morning message for you. In the name of giving you space to figure things out, they almost leave a gaping hole where once they were. Probably they can’t stand the “cutesy baby stuff”. But hey!! Wasn’t that what friendship was all about? In sickness and in health? In love and out of love? Or am I from an era bygone?

By the way, talking of relationships and (lost) love, happy Valentine’s day people. It’s late, but you see, I have just had a baby. Hope you can keep with that, or won’t you?

 

Happiness … on land and in water….

And so, after the

fiasco last time

, a lot of precautions were taken this time around ( read: the balcony was left for the mommy pigeon to play around) and the pigeon pair is back in our balcony. And not once but twice over. One pair hatched a week ago, and one just yesterday morning. You have just got to see those little pink fluffies to believe how small they can really be. They are yet to open their eyes, and are still being kept warm by their respective mothers, and in the same way before the eggs hatched. I don’t know how the kids are eating though, because I haven’t seen them eat at all. Even when the mommies go out to eat, the kids just lie still, or poke each other which is the cutest part, because they can’t see and just move their heads randomly. 

Check these pics out. And please pardon me for the quality of these pics. These have been taken very conspicuously with my phone camera because I didn’t want the possessive mommies attacking me for fooling around with their babies!!!

The week old babies
The possessive mother hanging around!

 

The just born “pink”babies
And on a totally unrelated note, it was my

nephew S

‘s birthday two weeks back and we got him this. 

S’s b’day gift: A fish bowl 🙂

It’s got 4 beautiful fishes. (4 seems to be our lucky number these days ;-))

S is thrilled to have these. And loves feeding them because they run around the most at that time. They almost come to the surface to grab the food and generally run around a lot inside the bowl. But apparently, S didn’t like what we had named the fishes. I don’t blame him though. He’s too young to understand the humor.

One of the four is black and the most active in the group. So we named him Che Guevara for his revolutionary behavior.
The second one is silver, very pretty and lady like and prances around smoothly like a belly dancer. We call her Simi Garewal.
The third is orange colored with a bold black mark right on the forehead which looks a crop of black hair. He is called baba Ramdev for he matches the saffron robe and black hair seamlessly.
The fourth is completely orange in color and we call him Tango Charlie.

Since S didn’t like the names mentioned above, he’s decided to give them uncomplicated but rhyming names.
The black and white pair is called Honey & Money, while the orange colored pair is Top & Hop. Simplicity!!!!

We are yet to name our pigeon babies. Would love to hear back from you guys on any name suggestions before our babies fly the coop 😉

Also, it’s our babies’ first Diwali tomorrow. And like every year, this year too, we won’t be bursting any crackers because we don’t want to scare the poor things. I hope you will do the same for all the new born and old people around who can’t take the loud sound and have difficulty in breathing because of all the smoke and pollution in the air. 

Celebrate Diwali in its righteous spirit with lots of sweets, smiles, friends and family. Have fun. Spread the happiness and take care.