U unties Umbilical!

A child in a mother’s womb gets it’s nutrition from the umbilical cord. When the child is born, the umbilical cord is cut. And from that moment onward, the child, only moments old in this new world, has to do a lot of hard work. (S)he has to learn to suck milk out of the mother to survive. Breathe on their own. Pee. Potty. Seemingly innocuous things for us, but huge tasks for these little beings.

But some people, even as they grow up, can’t seem to let go of their umbilical cords. It’s like their umbilical cords have never been cut. Running to mommy or daddy for every little thing is the way of life for them. I wonder, if infants, as young as days old have to start taking ownership of their life, how come some grown ups refuse to do so?

I have also seen mothers having a very hypocritical attitude towards this phenomenon. The daughter with undying loyalty is fine, but the son-in-law with the same attitude is looked down upon. Similarly, the mother-in-law is absolutely fine controlling the life of her son and daughter-in-law, but if the daughter-in-law seeks her parents’ permission, she isn’t a part of the family.

Also, I find, there is a lot of gender bias when it comes to being tied to the apron strings. Guys with their invisible  umbilical cords are often referred to as “Mamma’s boys”, but girls doing the same are just “mumma’s pets” or “daddy’s darlings”. Girls with their umbilical cords are considered as very loyal and loving. However the same attitude from a guy is seen as a weakness.

I have seen many parents encourage this kind of childrens’ attitude because I guess they think it shows the child’s respect for them. I beg to differ. A child can be as or even more respectful to you despite the fact that he/she may not come running to you for every problem or asking or taking your advice. Or agreeing with you on every point made, In fact, I know of so many people who use this as a kind of excuse for not standing up for the right thing. I don’t think parental respect has any meaning if you continue to do wrong elsewhere. Have you cut your umbilical?

 

T toils for Travel!

I am a huge travel junkie. Every time there is an occasion like a birthday or an anniversary and the husband asks what I would like, the answer is always a vacation! I am not much of a jewelry/clothes/shoes person. After I got married, the husband and I have been on a lot of trips. Some planned, some instantaneous. But all of them have been memorable, to say the least.

But somehow, I have never gotten around to writing about the places visited in detail. But after the A-Z challenge is over, I plan on doing it. Right now, I am just going to go back and remember the time and place and leave you with a few pictures.

1) The very first trip after marriage – HongKong, Macau & the Disneyland :). Memorable for all the right reasons 😉

A day out in Macau!

 

Goofy and I 😀

 2) River rafting in Rishikesh. Memorable because of the near death experience 🙁
You can read more about it here.

Hubby and I locking horns 😉

3) My first birthday after marriage  – we travelled to Hyderabad, Bangalore , Kerala and then, back to Delhi. One of the best trips ever! You can read about it here.

Snow World in Hyderabad!

 

The very picturesque Munnar!

4) Visited Dhanbad (Bihar) for a friend’s wedding. Due to some mix up, got return tickets from Durgapur (West Bengal). Travelled without ticket to Durgapur and ended up paying a fine. Spent a whole day discovering the small Bong city 🙂

 

Sunset at Durgapur dam 🙂

5) Husband’s first birthday after marriage : A visit to the Neemrana fort palace. Memorable because of the adventure activity, flying fox or zipping that we ended up doing.

Yous truly, successfully completing her zip line!

6) Our first wedding anniversary – the majestic city if Khajuraho. One of the best trips ever. It’s a beautiful city. I absolutely loved being there. Would love going back too.

Tired and happy travellers!

7) My second birthday after marriage. At this time, I had cleared the telephonic rounds for KBC and was called for a video audition. So that took us to Amritsar. Unfortunately, I didn’t get selected, but we had a gala time in Amritsar. Also, we extended the vacation to visit McLeodgunj too.

The fog covered jungles in McLeodgunj!

 

At Golden temple, Amritsar

8) Visited Kanpur for a friend’s wedding. And it was the last trip we had been on last year. A month later we discovered about the pregnancy 🙂 And since then, we have pretty much been laying low as far as travelling is concerned. The next trip is definitely going to be with our little one now. Let’s see where and when that happens!

R & S – Rape & Stigma

Rape has pretty much become a word that is used in general conversations these days. All thanks to rising crime rates and the inability of the government or the police to curb it. And, of the course, the inability of the male population to control their wild untamed libido. The worst part is that most of the accused admit that the rape was not only an act of forced sex, but majorly a power play. They wanted to show the women where she belonged. As much as the society is progressing in terms of men women equality, people like these are pulling it back in the opposite direction as much.

There is another aspect of the rape phenomenon that is happening these days – the blame-the-victim game! I think it started with some moron saying that girls out on the streets past a certain time of the night were inviting troubles. And then the mockery never stopped. Someone said, it was the jeans and revealing clothes that were the cause of men raping the said women. Then someone said Mobile phones were responsible. Another one said chowmein was. A political honcho said boys tend to make mistakes. And that they should not be hanged for them. Another one said, the girls are an equal participant in the act, and hence they must be punished too. Well, to say the least, I feel disgusted. I don’t want to comment on the above remarks and give them any more attention than they have already been given.

As if raping a woman wasn’t enough to snatch away her basic right to say no, to be the way she wants to be, the society attaches all the stigma to the victim. And the accused have an easy run getting a bail, and leading a normal life.  Why does a woman who was raped and brutalized has to spend the rest of her life fighting the stigma and being called a rape victim? And the accused always gets called by his name. It is high time that the women be accorded the basic respect they deserve. The least we can do is, not to rob them off their identity for the rest of their lives and accord them a generic and very demeaning “rape victim” tag. And apart from improving the men’s mentality about women and punishing them, it is the guilty who must be referred to as a rape accused for the rest of their lives, if they are not hanged, so that they are the ones who are looked own upon, and are not allowed to lead a guilt free life after destroying someone else’s

Q quotes Queer!

Queer means strange. Something that is different from the usual. It is also used as an umbrella term to denote the LGBT community. In layman terms, the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. I would find this reference to queer by someone as naive as a child ok. But when grown ups find homosexuals or gays strange, I can only nod my head in disappointment.

If one man/woman loves another, what is so strange about it? I mean, how can anything that has love in the middle be strange? I know, it is not normal. Because love is a feeling that out pars the normal. It takes a lot of strength and courage to actually love someone other than yourself. And when that someone is of your own gender, you have the added responsibility and baggage of proving your worth to the society and family. It takes lots of guts to come out the closet, and out in the open and accept it as a part of your identity in a society as judgmental as ours. And we find that queer?

You know what I find queer? When a girl is openly molested on the road and the passers by become a mute audience. When they take out cell phones to make videos. When a girl is gang raped and brutalized to an extent that is difficult to fathom. When kids as young as months old are sodomized and sexually assaulted.  To hell with that “straight” sexuality that makes you an animal.

I find all you perverts queer who rape a women and children everyday in your mind and with your hands and with your body and with your mentality.

 

P (s)pells Pregnant!

 I have wanted to do this post since the longest time.  But I guess I was saving it for the P of the A to Z blogging challenge.  But as they say,  better late than never.

When I first received the confirmation of my pregnancy,  I was a mixed bag. I didn’t know what  to feel. I felt happy because we had succeded in achieving what we wanted to.  But other than that I was very anxious and majorly embarrassed.

The first trimester was a tough time. I had severe morning sickness and nausea.  I hated myself for giving in to the idea of getting pregnant.  I almost secretly wished something bad would happen so that I could be free again. I know it’s evil but the morning sickness lasted all day, day after day and was really really bad.

The second trimester was the best time of the entire pregnancy.  The morning sickness was gone. The tummy was not so huge. And there were the kicks and hiccups  and cravings. Although the cravings are not as hyper as they show in the movies. But yes pretty drastic.  Like I don’t eat spicy food at all. But when I was expecting,  I craved spicy food all the time. No wonder my girl is a teekhi mirchi 😉

And finally the last semester, full of leg cramps,  swollen feet, full bladder, tummy the size of an earthen pot and the anxiety of the impending big day. Will it be normal?  Will it be a c-section?  Will it be painful?  Have we stocked up everything we need?  Are we really prepared for this?

Despite all this, now I understand why people gush so much about pregnancy.  It’s not just about birthing a child. It’s about the miracle of a woman’s body to nurture a child,  a living being inside her body,  take care of all its needs, and yet go on  about her life as non chalantly as ever. It’s about doing things she would otherwise never do only for the sake of the child. And bear that pain, which I don’t think can be described in words, to welcome the child in this world.

Ever since the birth of my little one, I feel like a super woman. Like God’s blessed child to have experienced this enigma,  this mystery. And the gift is mine to keep for the rest of my life 🙂