When I first broke the news of my motherhood on the blog and Facebook, I was inundated with congratulatory calls and messages. I read through all of them “Congratulations” “wow she is an angel” etc. and some new mommies also threw in some advice and their own experiences.
So many people have this habit of writing angle when they mean angel. I mean, is it really that difficult?? Also, pregnancy and motherhood are a magnet for a barrage of unsolicited advice. Phew!! Anyway, I digress.
So coming back to the point. There was a comment from a dear college friend. If I were to quote her, this is what she said “I know and relate to everything you have talked about. While everyone tells you about how beautiful your life will get after you have a baby, no one prepares you for the emotional tide one goes through and more so, on how suddenly you have to ‘grow up’.” She is the mother of a wonderful girl herself.
When I had read this comment, I was still in the high of being a new mother, and couldn’t ever get enough of my pretty princess. But with time, every new day, I have realised the truth in her words. So simple, but so true. Here I was, a girl, a woman of this world just 3 months back. And one day, I have an infant dependent on me 24×7. I became a mother. But that’s not the thing that changes your spirit overnight. It’s the people around you.
Suddenly you are not allowed to make mistakes. You have got to be perfect all the time. Nobody realizes that might be a 27 year old woman, but only a 3 month old mother. Everybody assures me they are well meaning. I agree, but please, could we hold thy advice horses please?
And then there’s the husband who has also graduated to be a father. All dreamy eyed and in an obsessive love relationship with the kid. Cannot have enough of him/her. But hello, I am the mother of your kid. Wasn’t I also the same girl you fell in love with? Your girlfriend, and consequently your wife before I became a mother.
Suddenly I realize I have to grow up. I have to relinquish the place I had in his heart. I have to step aside to make place for her. And still smile and be happy at being sidelined. Now, I am not the one who is the most pampered and the one who is spoiled rotten. It’s her. Am I jealous? Of course. He was all mine before he became all hers. But I guess that’s how the cookie crumbles in this game. Or is it?
Well written Ghata… I could imagine you talking it all… Many friends have said the same about their husbands that the man you love most suddenly gets more concerned about the child.. It does call for being J…
And Moms can make mistakes… both you and your kiddo will have fun growing together…rather you being a child again would be fun..
Sad truths ! Yes things do change and you do feel jealous. N yes you are expected to be responsible, all grown up, matured, understanding blah blah…sailing in the same boat!
We could discuss more of your opinion if I knew you 🙂
Awww…..nothing like that bad feeling na? Ekdum ignored type!! Huh…
But don't worry. ..hang on….may be a couple of months down the line….they will b bk from the overdose of the new fatherhood!
i totally can feel ur pain..just a month junior to u in motherhood…all my husband talks about is arjun…he comes bak home n "kaisa h mera beta"????hello!!!!!!!us bete ko din bhar bina soe ghum ghum k m sam bhal rhi hun..kbhi to pucho kaisi h meri biwi????n as of 1000 advices…i hardly listen to anybdy n just go wid my maternal instincts…dats d best to keep ur sanity intact… nishtha
Hmm….I am thinking about you husband, how is he coping up with the divided attention that he has now. He might not be vocal about it, but he must be feeling it. He may also not mention or admit it…(he is a man )
Ha ha…..sir/mam…this is not public execution. I very much love my husband. And that's y there is the jealousy that I have written about.
Would love to know the real u
True rachna. I have come to realize that. Just that those words "grow up overnight" keep ringing in my ears.
Public execution of your husband.remember he is was your hero !! and sharing is caring So you are indirectly caring for him. he might be still your may be you are just being skeptical and judgmental.
Yes, lots of changes, lots of adjustments. Sigh, this is motherhood and no one prepares you for this roller coaster of emotions. Just like you had to make way in his life, he did as well in your heart. When children come into your life, your time together as a couple is completely transformed. Hang in there.