When I first broke the news of my motherhood on the blog and Facebook, I was inundated with congratulatory calls and messages. I read through all of them “Congratulations” “wow she is an angel” etc. and some new mommies also threw in some advice and their own experiences.
So many people have this habit of writing angle when they mean angel. I mean, is it really that difficult?? Also, pregnancy and motherhood are a magnet for a barrage of unsolicited advice. Phew!! Anyway, I digress.
So coming back to the point. There was a comment from a dear college friend. If I were to quote her, this is what she said “I know and relate to everything you have talked about. While everyone tells you about how beautiful your life will get after you have a baby, no one prepares you for the emotional tide one goes through and more so, on how suddenly you have to ‘grow up’.” She is the mother of a wonderful girl herself.
When I had read this comment, I was still in the high of being a new mother, and couldn’t ever get enough of my pretty princess. But with time, every new day, I have realised the truth in her words. So simple, but so true. Here I was, a girl, a woman of this world just 3 months back. And one day, I have an infant dependent on me 24×7. I became a mother. But that’s not the thing that changes your spirit overnight. It’s the people around you.
Suddenly you are not allowed to make mistakes. You have got to be perfect all the time. Nobody realizes that might be a 27 year old woman, but only a 3 month old mother. Everybody assures me they are well meaning. I agree, but please, could we hold thy advice horses please?
And then there’s the husband who has also graduated to be a father. All dreamy eyed and in an obsessive love relationship with the kid. Cannot have enough of him/her. But hello, I am the mother of your kid. Wasn’t I also the same girl you fell in love with? Your girlfriend, and consequently your wife before I became a mother.
Suddenly I realize I have to grow up. I have to relinquish the place I had in his heart. I have to step aside to make place for her. And still smile and be happy at being sidelined. Now, I am not the one who is the most pampered and the one who is spoiled rotten. It’s her. Am I jealous? Of course. He was all mine before he became all hers. But I guess that’s how the cookie crumbles in this game. Or is it?