I had never thougt motherhood would feel like so many different things. I had thought it was just a feeling of mush and love and care for your child. But that is another notion that I have just tossed into the bin after becoming a mother myself. I am not even sure I can call myself a mother yet. The feeling hasn’t sunk in.
The moment s was born (after a 16 hr labor), the only thing that my mind and heart wanted to do was a jig on the labor room chair. But of course, only in spirit. Later when she was handed over to me for the first time, I was filled with wonder and amazement. This was the little person H and I had made. She is beautiful and I felt proud. And then happened the first night with S when we brought her home. I remember how the whole night passed between feeding sessions, changing nappies and cleaning a soiled bottom. In between these frenzied activities, a moment or two of catching breath, I asked myself a tad frustrated, “is this motherhood?”
Of course, motherhood is this and a lot of other things that I discover every day. Emotions range from ecstasy to uncontrolled pride and mush to sleelplessness and irritation. Am I enjoying motherhood? In the day, yes. Not so much in the night 😉 But it’s definitely an experience worth having.
Having doubts about having a baby? Go on..make one. Trust me you won’t regret it 😉