Love – a habit, an addiction or sacrifice?

I was watching Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam for the nth time today. I always feel the same rush of emotions while watching the naked display of raw emotions, as Ajay Devgan is torn between his love and responsibilities. And especially the last scene where Aishwarya finally gets what she’s been seeking all along – her love but turns it down in favor of her husband.

Till the last time I remember having seen the movie, I never felt the way I felt today. Maybe it was because of the fact that I have loved and married the man I chose and maybe could relate to both Salman‘s and Aishwarya’s emotional suffering. There is this last scene where Aishwarya walks away from Salman and I felt angered. I mean, there he was, suffering as much as she was, suddenly weaving dreams of a happy future once again with the love of his life, only to be rejected and turned down and left forlorn for the second time. I mean, once is more than enough for anybody to go through that hell!

The love birds – Aish and Salman!

Anyway, I felt my anger directed at Aish but then I thought that it was not her mistake entirely too. It’s not easy to forget your first love and get married to somebody and just resign to your fate like that. At least you need some time to come to terms with that. Anybody in her place would still long for the ex after the unceremonious exit of Salman from her life and a quick marriage to Ajay Devgan. But there’s our hero who wants Aish and Salman to unite and takes her to a strange country to find him. Through the turbulent times together Aish realizes how selfless her husband is and begins to believe that that is true love! And then I got angry at her parents for making her go through this.

Because if Aish had never been forced to get married to Ajay Devgan, there would never have been that guilt that she was probably feeling because of which she throws away her love. There was nothing wrong with all three of them. All of them were true lovers and one of them lost. Why? Only if she wasn’t married, and she was on the quest to find her soul mate, I am sure she would have probably happily married him by the evening without a second thought.

Aish with her on-screen husband Ajay

And that led me to think that is Love actually the other name for sacrifice? Or is Love merely an addiction that we can shake off with the passage of time? Or may be just, a habit or getting used to a person that we can shake off with time?

I mean, if Aish hadn’t spent some quality time with her husband, she would have never come to know of his godliness. And then there was the marriage to honor. And so her parents succeeded at what they had set out to do. Destroy her first love. Was it right? I can’t really say. With time, she began to like Ajay, her love faded a little and marriage won over. I kind of felt cheated. And I have no idea why.

And then there is the sacrifice part. We love someone, we sacrifice a lot of things for their happiness. But was it love when Aish sacrificed her love to be with her husband, and in turn broke Salman’s heart? What kind of love is that when you break someone’s heart and balm someone else’s? Can love really be measured? Ajay’s love was greater than Salman’s and so she decided to stay with him, does it work like that? I don’t know. And I can’t help thinking.

The more I think about it, the more I feel that the theory that “we find true love only once” is an eyewash. I think, as life progresses, we change and find different people who we can love. And I don’t mean it in polyandry kind of way. I feel that Aish loved Salman when she was young, wild and passionate. But because of the heart break and subsequent marriage, something inside her changed forever. She wasn’t the same girl anymore. And may be that’s why she was able to appreciate a rather mature (Ajay Devgan’s) love rather than the almost childish (Salman’s) love. It was right, and yet I felt a little wronged. All these years, I always felt happy for Ajay Devgan in the end. But today, I think time has changed something inside me too. Having gone through the struggle to be with H for life, has changed me. Seeing someone’s love story break half way just brings out my defenses strongly. Even if that love story is a fiction.

322 thoughts on “Love – a habit, an addiction or sacrifice?

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  15. Ghata says:

    I agree with you Vipin that real life stories are more dangerous than the mostly happily ever after Bollywood love stories. But HDDCS is kinda very realistic and touched my heart and hence the post 🙂 Welcome to the blog!

  16. Ghata says:

    ohh yeah….I definitely believe that if this was a real story (and am sure there must be so many real ones out there we don't know of) the ending would be worse. Not everyone is a gentleman like Ajay Devgan, not everyone is as passionate or as morally righteous as Aish and nor anyone as loving as Salman for letting Aish go away a second time with all the love in his heart.

  17. Ghata says:

    @Maheshwari L: hehe..ya…discussed them as if they were real! I guess because their portrayal of love was very realistic and most of us could connect to their love story in some way or the other. Welcome to the blog 🙂

  18. Vipin says:

    Dear Ghata, please rise above bollywood… these are all faux passes and in real life, salman would have eloped with aish, leave aside marriage with ajay. And pleassseeee, don't compare real life love stories with bollywood love stories. Believe me, Real love stories are more dangerous and a bloody affair than this!!!

  19. Afshan Shaik says:

    Its the most colorful movie to me till date 🙂 and ya I have the same confusions u hav whenever I watch it

    On a lighter note y does evry one leave bechara sallu :- o ?

    If she was not an Indian or from a remote place in rajasthan she would not have valued the wedding like in that movie. Even if U r from India/ village some times its solely your choice and love/ arranged has its own set of compromises and in this complex story a heart has to be broken- unfortunately its Salman

    If its a real story the endings would be more WORSE- believe me 🙂

  20. mspseudoneem says:

    I like the idea that Love is a habit…getting used to somebody's company…SO much that one decides on having that company forever(scary! :D)
    I never got the funda behind sacrificing stuff for the sake of love…I mean, ultimately, we want ourselves to be happy innit…
    Ajay did all that because he loved Ash and he'd be happy if he could see her smile…and like you said, Ash prolly gets a mental makeover while staying with him…(poor Salman though)
    lol can't believe we just discussed about movie characters as if they are real 😀

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